The Importance of the Night and Being Blind
by subaruxkamui4ever
Summary: Seto Joey yaoi. The things that seem clear in the day are sometimes lost in the night, and Joey finds that the dark brings a sort of blindness that only Seto can lift. Rated M for a REASON.
1. 001

The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

By Katsuya Kaiba

Part One of Five

AN: I hope that you're here for the right reasons…please don't get all freaky on me when you get to the naked crap…this story is based on naked crap. It's full of it. Please listen to me. Read this only if you want to read about naked boys doing naked things to each naked other. The end. Oh, and another thing. Since I am the official 'Prince of Anime Angst', this story will be much like everything else I've written, not as far as storyline is concerned, but the _level_ of _angst is soooo angsty. _

No, really. I am the real Prince of Anime Angst. I won that title for writing The Urgency of Life. I kid you not.

* * *

"Kaiba…I fucking _hate_ you _so much!_" 

"The feeling is most definitely mutual…puppy dog."

The tension escalated. It always does. But now, here on the front lawn of the school just as the last of the students were clearing off the campus, I knew that today might just be a little different. For this time, I was angrier than I had ever been before, and I was intent to make him see what he'd done to me.

I reached out and grabbed his shoulder as he tried to walk past me without any regard to my stance, intended to block his path. However my hand on his shoulder did not so much as stop Kaiba as it did infuriate him. He ripped his shoulder from my grasp and turned to face me, waves of sudden rage billowing from his figure as he loomed over me. I found that I could only stare up at him, and I noticed that his eyes were a very strange shade, one that I had never seen before in anyone's eyes, let alone Kaiba's. Only once had I caught a sight that might be compared, once when I was a child, and I had looked up to the sky seconds before the onslaught of a terrible storm rained down upon me. His eyes brought the memory back, and my feet tried to take a step back, but I held my ground and waited. I wasn't afraid.

"Don't _ever_ touch me again." It bothered him so, and I was nearly compelled to obey him. I was so angry, though, so irrationally angry, and I wasn't thinking in the least at that moment. Kaiba stepped back, and I opened my mouth again and yelled at him despite how close he still was.

"You can't tell me what to do! And don't you dare walk away from me! I'm not even close to being finished with you yet!"

His stormy gaze broke momentarily, and a small stream of bitter sunlight shone through the rainclouds.

"I will walk wherever and whenever I wish, and you would do well to remember that. You should also bear in mind that _you_ are nothing, and _you_ are no one. Learn some manners and _learn your place_, puppy dog."

He smiled and spoke quietly, stepping forward and slowly reaching out with one hand. I flinched as I watched his movement, and immediately cursed myself a second later when he saw it and chuckled softly.

Kaiba's hand reached out for the top of my head, and he ruffled his fingers through my hair, much the same way that one might pet a dog. I snarled vocally and stepped, set into motion suddenly, and Kaiba's hand fell nonchalantly to his side. His expression was sinfully amused, and the smile that curved his lips was absolutely infuriating. I clenched my fists, determined not to draw the first blood between us and quietly waited for him to try something else, anything that would give me the chance to lay out on him.

He surprised me then by forgetting that the entire thing had ever happened, and he turned away and proceeded to walk towards his car parked at the far end of the lawn, evidently finished with whatever he had meant to do with me. I saw that he was going to just leave me there in the middle of everything, and I swore under my breath and watched him go. My eyes followed him as he turned and walked off as though nothing at all had happened, and this was just some ordinary fight between ordinary schoolboys. Seeing just how little he cared struck a small chord inside of me, and my fury was incited even further. I took off at a run directly towards Kaiba and just when he was within an arms reach I let go and simply went for it, jumping into the air and wrapping my arms around his waist in a grip that was as strong as steel. If I was going down, that jackass was coming right along with me.

"Hey!" Kaiba's startled cry rang out sharply across the lawn as he realized that I tackled him, and he tried to turn and look but it was too late. The force of my jump sent the two of us flying forward onto the grass, and we hit the ground simultaneously. I still had my arms around Kaiba's waist and I now found myself unable to release him as we both tumbled across the lawn, finally rolling to a stop just a few feet from where his car was still waiting. As the spinning in my eyes slowed, I tried to focus and take in my surroundings. I was lying on the ground facing the sky, as was Kaiba not more than a foot away from me, and I tilted my head and watched him as he tried to come to terms with what I had just done.

I flipped my body over and stood up on my knees, regaining my sense of balance and keeping a close eye on Kaiba, to see what he might do once he was able to do it. He looked dizzy with something, but it was oddly transparent and I could see that there was much more of something else hidden underneath.

Even with my full attention on Kaiba, I still wasn't able to act quickly enough to stop what he did next. He flew up from the ground in an instant and threw himself on me with such force that I fell backwards off of my knees and landed in the grass flat on my back underneath him. Somewhere along the way his hands had found their way to my arms, and as my head hit the lawn I felt his thin fingers closing around my wrists, holding them down on the ground above my head. I looked up and met his gaze, unsure of what he meant to do but hoping that I would be able to read it in his eyes. He was angry, that much was clear, and I began to find that my own anger was slipping fast at this new turn of events. I wasn't nearly as in control as I thought that I'd been, and even though I had snatched it from Kaiba, he now held it over my face and I began to regret ever wishing for it in the first place. Now I was trapped, I was caught, and there wasn't any way out. I watched his eyes as they fell a bit closer to my own and I waited.

"What the hell were you _thinking_?" Kaiba's voice came out whisper soft and in a surprisingly unthreatening manner, but his eyes held a much different and much more frightening tale. I didn't answer him at first, hoping that maybe the question had been a rhetorical one, and I would be absolved of the need to speak, which I wasn't entirely sure that I could do right then. It made me angry just to think it, but I knew that I was terrified. I didn't know what Kaiba was capable of, but I didn't want to find out. Kaiba shook my arms roughly using the grip he had on my wrists and leaned in even closer, and I tried to draw back some but my head immediately hit the dirt.

"_Answer me. _What the hell were you trying to accomplish with that?" With each word that Kaiba spoke his voice grew both louder and more frightening, and the storm behind his eyes looked as though it were preparing to rain destruction down upon me right then if I didn't give him what he wanted. I had no idea what to tell him because I hadn't even known what I was doing until I'd already done it, so I just opened my mouth and spoke blindly.

"You…you're such a jerk! And then you think that you can just walk away from me! You don't pay any attention to the things that I feel…"

Nothing happened for a moment. I watched his eyes as they widened a bit at first, and then after he had soaked in everything that I had blurted out they narrowed slightly and he sat up on his knees, keeping his solid grip around my wrists and pulling me up with him. He stood on his feet and dragged me up to mine as well, and he did it with such a fluid ease that I was struck in that moment by just how strong he really was. His fingers never gave way and now we were standing face to face on the grass, and I gave my arms an experimental tug in the direction away from Kaiba. Whatever Kaiba had seen or felt because of what I had said had shut him up, and I wanted nothing more than to run away and forget that I had ever followed him out here at all. I hadn't meant to say anything like that, but I hadn't thought that I would, either. It wasn't strange, but it didn't make much sense, and I think that he was as confused as I was.

Or was it calm that I sensed in him just then? He regarded me with a quiet stare, and pulled back as I tugged away from him.

"Hey…let me go!" His fingers were holding on so tightly that I felt the circulation closing off in my hands, and my fingertips tingled in a strange way. Seto laughed quietly and shook his head.

"No…you're sick."

Without sparing a single second to allow me to consider what that might have meant, Kaiba's grip on my arms tightened painfully and he pulled my forward with all of his strength. It was more than enough force to close the distance between us, and I crashed into him clumsily. He had my arms over his head, holding them high in the air, making it significantly harder for me to escape, which was no doubt his intention. I found myself pressed against him in a very strange manner, and I had to turn my head away from him and stare off to the side, silently wishing that I were still inside the school that I now could see beside us. Wishing that I had never followed him out here. The situation had taken a very odd turn, and it was far beyond uncomfortable.

I continued to struggle, regardless of whether or not it was futile. I knew that it was. But what I did not know, and desperately wished I did, was what the hell Kaiba meant to do now. Why was I sick? My desperate attempts at escape elicited a strange laugh from Kaiba, soft and made of more breath than voice. I felt it far more than I heard it, and his breath fell on my ear as he leaned in closer. I was still facing as far away from him as I was able, but the skin underneath his breath began to tingle sharply and it alerted me as to just how close Kaiba really was. He whispered, and I felt a slight brushing of lips to my ear that I recognized and was instantly horrified. What…

"Kaiba…?"

"You're looking for attention in all the wrong places, puppy dog…just how badly did you want me to pet you?"

His teeth grazed the skin just below his lips, and my eyes began to slide shut despite my best efforts as I felt him bite down quietly on my ear. A violent and trembling shiver shot rapidly up my spine as I realized that I had lost any and all control over both the situation, and my reaction to it as well, shaking under the spell he somehow cast. I willed myself to fight back, begging my body to kick and claw it's way out, but nothing came. Nothing, save the unsettling nature of my shockingly responsive body. This wasn't happening. This was Seto Kaiba. This wasn't happening.

But no matter how many times I repeated that phrase, endlessly spiraling throughout my mind, my body screamed back at me that this was indeed happening, and very loudly at that. A mere second had barely passed before he released his hold on my ear, scraping the skin between his teeth as he pulled his head away. Still, the swirls of air that passed over my neck did not dissipate, and I knew that he was just as close as he had been, breathing down my neck and trying to accomplish something…something I felt that I was better of not knowing about.

"Kaiba…stop…" My voice wavered under the building pressure, and when I heard myself speak I opened my eyes, surprised at the pathetic tone that I held. It almost sounded as though I did not mean what I had said. As though I did not want him to stop. I felt him smile against my skin, and the sensation it caused within my stomach was nauseating. I felt sick, I felt dizzy, and I was becoming more and more afraid of finding out why it was that I had suddenly failed to fight back. Suddenly a sharp and nearly tearing pain shot through my neck and I felt Kaiba's teeth come down hard, so forcefully and violently pressing that I thought he might have broken the skin. I cried out and found my will to escape once again, struggling and pulling on my arms but Kaiba had caught the skin of my neck between his teeth and he pulled aggressively at the same moment that he released my arms. Without warning I found myself on the ground before him, sitting on my knees and clutching the soreness on my neck with my fingers. I looked up with fire in my eyes, not from rage but from insistent confusion and an aching desire to know just what might have possessed Kaiba to do that, and me to not stop him.

"Why?" I asked him aloud, and my voice was angry and hurt.

"Because you wanted it." It was simple and direct, and although it must have made perfect sense to him, the statement left me even more confused than I had been in the first place. Sparing not a second further, he calmly turned and walked away. His voice hadn't conveyed any sense of superiority, and his face had momentarily lost all of it's haughty undertones, revealing the blank and simple stare that he had regarded me with seconds before deciding that it was his time to leave. I watched him as he went, although I knew that he would not turn to look back. He wasn't that sort of boy.

* * *

Twirling a lock of hair that hung over my nose with my fingers, I sat silently and stared straight ahead, desperately trying to keep my eyes away from Seto Kaiba, and failing miserably. The events of yesterday were still hanging directly over my head like a strange stormcloud, and I had been able to think of nothing else since the moment that Kaiba walked away. The teacher droned on unintelligibly at the front of the classroom and I tried to stare at her for awhile, but my vision blurred before long and I felt my eyes dart to the corner of the room, taking in the sight of Kaiba avidly paying attention. I shut my eyes and tried to clear my head, but as soon as my vision went dark I felt the memories of yesterday descending, as fresh and real as they were when they had been happening. 

_"You're looking for attention in all the wrong places, puppy dog…just how badly did you want me to pet you?"_

What had he meant…what could he have meant by that? There wasn't any sense in it. I didn't ant Kaiba's attention. I wanted him to…to notice that I…no.

I refused to allow the remainder of the phrase work itself out in my mind. I had seen where the resolution was headed and I brought the entire train of thought to a full and abrupt halt. I opened my eyes and glanced over to where I knew Kaiba sat. Just once more and then I'll forget it, I thought.

I met his eyes, which were pointedly directed at my own, and I immediately felt all of the blood in my veins slow to a frozen and complete halt. He had been looking at me. The amusement in his gaze was plain to see, and the beginnings of a smile twisted the corner of his lips before he broke the contact between us and redirected his eyes to the front of the classroom. My brows furrowed in a response that he never saw, for the opportunity to return had passed and he had already lost interest.

Just what exactly had changed yesterday? The air between the two of us was so different; it was thicker and less transparent and ridden with a feeling of desperate confusion. Kaiba had never so much as looked at me in the middle of a class before. It seemed as though I might not be the only one who had been affected by the sudden twist in our relationship. What had he been after, though? What could he have meant by all of that? I was so lost, but I felt that Kaiba had all of the answers that I sought, even if he was acting a bit differently. Was that why he smiled at me, was laughing at me? Was he purposely trying to confuse me? The thought made me far sadder than I had wanted to be over something so trivial. If yesterday meant absolutely nothing to him and was just a sick plan to get back at me, then there wasn't anything for me to be bothered over…right? So then, everything was as it always had been. But what if it wasn't just that, and Kaiba himself had some unseen or even unknown ambitions?

Wait a minute…why did I even care if he did?

I shouldn't. But I did. If he had been trying to throw me off, it had worked brilliantly. But then, I wasn't so sure that I wanted that to be his reason for doing…whatever it was that he had done to me. It had been so infuriating, so unexpected, but in the deepest reaches of my mind there was a thought there that suggested that although it may have been those things, it still hadn't been so terribly awful, either. It was not as repulsive as I might have been in theory, and that was the small and silent thought that nearly drove me over the edge every time I encountered it. This was just another one of Kaiba's stupid mind games, and I was foolish to allow it to affect me do deeply.

It was too late now, though, I was thinking about it and I had been thinking about for awhile, and the remembrance of Kaiba's touch brought something awful along with it, an unexplained and uninvited arousal that mortified me beyond reason. Screaming denial tore through my soul but it didn't help. This had to stop. I refused, _refused_, to think about Kaiba with anything other than complete and utter hatred in my heart. And most certainly not with this awful burning sensation that coursed through my veins and spread the inexplicable heat to every unwilling inch of my body. This was sick, it was sick, to think of a boy in such a way and to have that boy be Kaiba…insult to injury.

_"No…you're sick."_

Was I? Maybe… No, I just couldn't believe it, it was just so odd. I was fine, nothing was wrong with me. Kaiba was just messing with my head and I had fallen for it again. It didn't mean a thing about me. I was perfectly fine. Fine. I'm fine. I closed my eyes again and continued to plead with myself, with my body, to forget about the entire episode. However, the moment that my eyelids slid shut the memories of yesterday came crawling back for more, replaying themselves in my mind for quite possibly the millionth time.

_His teeth grazed the skin just below his lips, and my eyes began to slide shut despite my best efforts as I felt him bite down quietly on my ear… A mere second had barely passed before he released his hold on my ear, scraping the skin between his teeth as he pulled his head away…_

_"Kaiba…stop…" My voice wavered under the building pressure, and when I heard myself speak I opened my eyes, surprised at the pathetic tone that I held. It almost sounded as though I did not mean what I had said. As though I did not want him to stop. I felt him smile against my skin, and the sensation it caused within…_

My eyes shot open and I leaned forward towards my desk and slammed my head against the wooden surface in agony. Stop…stop thinking about it. It doesn't matter…

A few of the surrounding students jumped when the heard the noise but I didn't move, too far gone in my private hell to give a damn. But then, a moment later, I felt particularly unsettling sensation wash over me, a feeling that itched and burned in the far corners of my mind. Someone was watching me and I had a pretty accurate guess as to who it might be. There aren't many people able to stare at anything that damn loudly.

I turned and met the eyes of Seto Kaiba, frowning in my direction disapprovingly. I narrowed my own eyes and frowned right back, probably looking angrier than I should have. I was angry, thought, angry and lost and affected and I didn't want to be. I hadn't known just how angry until he glared at me right then.

How dare he…disrupt my life so easily, and then just as casually saunter away? And now, the things that he was doing when he thought I couldn't see, watching me in classes and in the crowded hallways as I made my way across the school in between periods. I had caught his wandering eyes on me more than twice today, memorizing each and every footstep I took, watching and waiting for…something. I couldn't say what, but I knew that it must be there. Kaiba had no time to spare for the pursuit of a simple passing interest. It was like he might be lying in wait, meticulously calculating the appropriate moment to swoop down upon me and…

I didn't much care for it, whatever he was after. It was terrifying, to say the very least and nothing more. I t had always been me who chased after him, running him down for an argument or a fight. But now, beginning on this very day, the tables had been turned completely and just the idea of what the outcome of this new arrangement might entail made me shiver with a feeling of claustrophobia. A living nightmare that was a perfect cross between absolute terror and nervous anticipation, and I couldn't shake it no matter how hard I tried.

I looked away from Kaiba and stared straight ahead, seeing nothing that was before me but staring still, intent to show him that I did not care what he was up to. Perhaps he had been right, and perhaps not, but if one of us was sick, I was going to make absolutely sure that it wasn't me.

These days are growing steadily more uncomfortable.

* * *

I knew the answer, although I hadn't heard him ask me the question. And although I knew the answer, I wasn't sure how it would sound when it was spoken. I was so afraid of what I might say that I remained silent and watched him, worried at the idea. 

"Tell me."

The words were so low they were far closer to a growl than a voice, yet I knew they were his words because he was so close, so close that I could feel his breath as it left his body. I had nowhere to run and the wall against my back was cold and unyielding against my skin. My skin…where were my clothes? I looked down and saw that I wore none. Seto, however, was fully dressed and had me pinned solidly to his bedroom wall. I knew that it was his bedroom, but I wasn't entirely sure how I knew that. I had never been there, and I was willing to bet that no one in the history of man had ever been there, save Seto himself.

My arms were held against the wood with his hands, and the dull ache of his thin fingers circled around my wrists was the only recognizable sensation in this desperately unfamiliar scenario. I had felt that pain before. At my lack of response Seto began to grow angry and his grip tightened to the breaking point. I could feel the bones in my wrists began to move against one another and I panicked under the painful pressure. I clumsily tried to throw him off of me, wrenching around underneath him and shifting my body every which way in a blind struggle. In a strange and far off sort of way I heard him laughing, and the very sound of it stilled me with a fear that took rot in the echoing tones of his voice. I was frozen motionless by the sound, and I looked up to see into his eyes. The distance within them had shortened greatly, and the stunning blue inside had taken a dark approach, sinking into a shade that reflected the deepest and most dangerous moments of the coming storm. I wasn't able to look away, and he seized the opportunity to try and overcome my silence.

"Tell me what it is."

I had no idea what it might be, but I knew that somewhere inside of me I did know, and if I spoke it would come out of my mouth in words and be realized. I was so afraid…I didn't want to know what I knew. I didn't want it.

"Tell me what you want."

Never before had I heard a voice as threatening or as insistent. I almost did tell him right then, and the fear inside of me was gripping and thrilling all at once. A small part of me enjoyed this, but I cast it aside and refused to look twice. Still unable to break our gaze, I finally spoke, and my voice was full of the fever that I felt, naked and defenseless.

"Never."

The blue grew even deeper, resulting in a shade that might easily have been mistaken for black, especially in the darkness that enshrouded Seto's bedroom. I watched as his face stilled momentarily in the shadows, evidently thinking his next thought through to the end. My blood felt as though it had stopped pumping long ago, and the fear that swept my mind spread to my body in anticipation, sending a wave of goosebumps that traveled throughout every inch of my skin. I was so cold.

Seto's face betrayed nothing of his next course of action, and without warning it was upon me before I could even think of a way to defend myself. I felt movement below my waist, and I recognized it after a moment as Seto shifting all of his weight to one leg. At first I thought nothing of it, but a second later my eyes widened farther than I had ever though possible as he launched his next assault. Slowly and with great delicacy he brought one of his hands away from my wrist and trailed his fingers lightly down the skin of my chest, following a path that led past my waist and settling finally between my legs, grasping the flesh there and slowly stroking me twice, increasing the pressure with each moment that passed. All of my muscles grew taut with shock and I immediately stopped struggling underneath him as his action spawned my reaction, and both my body and my voice betrayed me and cried out for more. I clenched my eyes shut and before long I felt his lips on my neck, harshly tasting the skin beneath.

My breathing changed it's pace and I felt my lungs burning, forcing in the air quickly and begging me to gasp. I did, and Seto's lips curved against my neck in victory. He never brought them away from my skin and when he whispered to me just then I felt the words much more than I heard them, and the vibrations they sent inside of me seemed to strike a match within, building a fire that I never wanted to harbor. All of my blood was rushing around in a panic, and most of it seemed to settle just underneath Seto's stray hand. I felt like I might cry, or scream, but none of these things happened. I never tried to stop him. I wasn't sure why.

"I see the mark that I gave to you before, it's still here. And even then you never tried to push me away, Now, tell me…what is it you're here for?"

The fire inside of me took hold right then, and the strength of the blaze controlled my every thought and breath. I couldn't hold it back any longer, and the Truth inside of me was released. I leaned into him and brought my face to the side of his own, pressing my cheek to his opposite one. My lips found his ear and then I told him what it was that I did not want to tell him. The words fell out of my mouth and I gasped as soon as I had heard them. I knew right at that moment why I had wanted to keep them a secret, both from myself and from Seto.

"Fuck me."

Seto paused briefly, and then bit down with a forceful pressure on my already bruised neck.

"Anything for you, puppy dog."

* * *

AN: Oh, boy...that's really the first half of the first chapter...more coming _very soon_...wouldn't it be awful if I made you wait?  



	2. 002

The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

Part Two

By Katsuya Kaiba

* * *

I stared unseeing at the ceiling of my bedroom, waiting for my breathing to steady. I had never before been so happy that I was at my own home, in my own room, alone. 

I was so happy that it had been a dream. I laughed aloud at my own relief, and the rapid pulsing of my heart at last began to subside. Just a dream, only a dream.

But what a dream it had been. It was sick. I was sick. Seto had been right. The very idea that Seto was able to see it while I had been unaware made me ill in itself, and an awful despair sunk into the pit of my stomach. I pulled my sheets over my head and shut out the night, hoping to hide from what lay inside of me and failing miserably. The painful excitement between my things was impossible to ignore, and only forced the obvious fact more closely under my nose. There wasn't anywhere I could hope to hide from myself.

I felt a tear slide down my face; a tear I had not known was even there. A tear that spoke the very worst. I couldn't live this way, denying something that became more and more evident with every second I spent alive and afflicted by the idea of Seto. And even now, after waking from that dream, I still didn't quite understand why I was so upset. I had enjoyed that dream, in the same suspicious way that I had secretly enjoyed the things that Seto had done to me, now two days past. Two days gone from me and still it was on my mind. Still the remnants of his touch clung to my body and left invisible scars that I felt might never heal. Not without a resolution.

His teeth on my neck had indeed left a mark, just as he had noticed in my dream. I wondered if the true Seto had noticed it as well. I had done my best to conceal it with my clothes and my actions, not wanting to invite the interrogation of my friends, although I understood that they would mean well in it. I trusted in my instincts that told me they would not want to know who had given me my mark. Who had claimed me as theirs, it would seem, from the way that Seto had been acting ever since that day. Perhaps the mark itself sank deeper below the skin than I realized. Was I ashamed of the bruise? I didn't think that I was. But I wasn't unaffected by it, there was something within me that appreciated the idea of the mark. What is was about it that I appreciated I could not say, but I did know that the only person I wanted to see it was Seto. It was his, after all.

But I hated Seto Kaiba. I had always hated him, and this night was no different. The only new piece of information that mattered was that I now hated myself, as well. I hated the part of me that gave me dreams of Seto, the weak and silent Joey that never stopped his advances whether in sleep or in reality. The Joey that never fought back and secretly wanted Seto to get mad, to reach out and take me by the hair and…

I hated him.

I was so tired, and I felt my eyelids beginning to close, although I tried my best to keep them wide open, not wanting to slip back into a dream like the one I'd just had. I glanced at the clock beside my bed.

4:08 am.

I would be so tired tomorrow. It was a Friday, but still I decided that I wouldn't go at all. Between falling asleep in every class and tripping over Seto around every corner, I thought that the best thing to do at this point was probably to simply stay away. I would have the entire weekend to sort myself out, and to hide or destroy any more of these unwanted desires. I had to put an end to this, and quickly, before I did something that I would regret later. I had a sinking feeling inside of me that Seto would be very displeased with my absence, and I wondered if he would do anything in response. I hoped not.

I firmly decided that I did not care in the least what Seto thought or did.

I only hoped that my body might finally learn to agree with my mind. It hadn't been working so far.

* * *

I slept deeply and without dreaming, and when my eyes finally drifted open on their own I caught sight of my clock and realized that it was nearly noon. I hoped that the school wouldn't call my house because I really didn't want to stay home all day waiting to be found where I wasn't supposed to be. I couldn't let my father know that I had skipped out, but I didn't think that it would be fair for me to have to spend my stolen hours of freedom sitting in my room quietly. I decided to go out, and hope to catch one of my friends as they made their way home form school. I knew that I needed some relief from my constant state of miserable self-loathing. 

But then again, my friends knew me well enough to be able to clearly see that something was desperately wrong with me.

Perhaps I could spend the day alone, after all.

I wasn't nearly as tired as I had been early that morning, and before long my body grew restless as I lay in silence, waiting for a decent reason for me to get out of bed to enter my mind. None came, but I sat up anyway, knowing that the emptiness of the morning would eat away at the peace of mind I had finally been able to achieve in sleep. The memory of my restless dreams hid quietly in the darkest corners of my subconscious, and I knew that if I did not occupy myself they would creep out of the shadows and engulf me wholly without warning. I stood up off my bed and busied myself with dressing, kicking the pile of clothes in the center of my room and shifting through the disarray with my bare toe. I didn't really care what I wore that day and honestly I rarely thought of it at all, but I had to think of something besides Seto.

Seto…

I shook my head and tried to dislodge the picture of him from my mind. It seemed to work, if only temporarily. Bending over the messy pile I selected my clothes somewhat thoughtfully and realized that I really needed to buy more clothes. Seeing the entirety of my wardrobe all collected in the middle of the floor created the illusion that I had much more to wear than I actually did, and as I picked up this shirt and then that one, musing over them pensively, I was brought to the resolution that I didn't really like any of them anymore. Well…now I had something to do with myself. Clothes shopping it is.

Contrary to popular belief, I actually did have a bit of money saved up, I just didn't much care to spend it recklessly. It didn't come along all too often so I made a point of stretching it as far as it would go, waiting for times such as these to spend it. Still, I might not find anything I liked at all, but at least I would be able to buy it if I did. I had nearly two hundred dollars hidden away, and after I had dressed myself I went to dig it up from underneath my dresser, the only place left in the room that still hid the money well enough from anyone who might be searching for a little extra cash. I knew who it was who had taken my money on far too many occasions, but I pushed the memories aside and relied on my dresser as the one thing that hadn't betrayed me as of yet. It wasn't as sad as it sounded, and if it was, then I supposed that I didn't care all that much. I had far more pressing issues to pretend to not think about.

I tiptoed over the broken shards of glass that littered the linoleum of the kitchen and soundlessly escaped my home unnoticed. I successfully made it across the lawn and achieved a full and complete victory as soon as the entirety of my house was out of sight. I slowed my pace down a good bit once I was far enough away and casually walked towards that closest main street, taking my time as I had plenty to kill. It wasn't even one o'clock yet, and I had to stay out far past three in order to create the illusion of returning home from school. At that moment, however, I was just happy that I had been able to escape my house unseen.

I supposed that if I was going to do this thing, I could at least do it right, and I decided that the mall would be the most successful option. I hadn't been there in so long, mainly due to the fact that I couldn't stand the place, but as far as shopping was concerned it was my only recourse, especially when dealing in clothes. It was inevitable, and I sighed heavily as I walked through the glass doors and immediately felt the air conditioned breeze slide over my face. As soon as I caught sight of everyone else who'd had the same idea as me I nearly turned and walked right back outside. It was just as crowded as it had been four months ago, when I had been here last. That hadn't been my idea, either; I had gone there with a friend and had been none too happy about it at the time. I hated it there, but I found that I hated my clothes even more, or rather my lack thereof.

Apart from the fact that I was forced to spend an entire afternoon in the crowded building, I was able to find a number of things to my liking, and by the time I decided that I was finished it was nearly four o'clock. Walking circles around the place had worn me down slowly and I sat down in the first empty seat that I could find, which was actually a couch that sat near the exit. I could have just walked out and gone home, but I wanted to rest my feet for just a minute since the trip back to my house was nearly half an hours walk. I leaned my head back into the cushion and closed my eyes, absentmindedly listening to the endless chattering that filled the entire building, echoing off the walls and spinning through the air, drowning out my own thoughts. It wasn't too far off from what I needed, and I relaxed further into the couch and let the noises of everyone else's problems outshine my own.

I started suddenly as I felt the empty space beside me sink down slightly as the seat was taken, and before I could open my eyes to see who it was I heard a terrible noise, the sound of a voice that I had been hearing all too often these days, mostly in my head.

"You know, puppy dog…there aren't any pet supply shops in this mall."

I took in the sight of Seto Kaiba looking at me intensely as he sat stiffly upright in the space beside me, and as the shock of the moment wore off I closed my eyes once again and resumed my previous position. Leaning back into the couch and settling myself in, I decided that the Seto that I had just seen must have been a hallucination, and I said nothing to him in return. Maybe if I pretended that he wasn't there, he would simply disappear. It appeared as though my theory wasn't going to work, however, because he spoke again, seeming none too pleased with my lack of response.

"If you keep ignoring me like that I'll have no choice but to take you home and discipline your behavior."

I opened my eyes and let my head fall over in his direction, not wanting to exert the effort it would take to sit up and look at him properly. I didn't owe him anything.

"You're such a jackass, Kaiba. Go away."

He smiled at that, and I felt a bit strange for witnessing it because it was devoid of attitude and it seemed to be somewhat genuine, even if it was barely noticeable. I frowned at him, mystified, and he sat back into the couch and mimicked my position, looking at me lazily as he rested his head on the cushion.

"I can't stand this godawful place."

I smiled carefully, not wanting to get too comfortable with this scenario but not wanting to chase him off, either. This was a curious moment. I wondered why he was here, now that he mentioned it. This was the absolute last place on earth I had expected to run into Seto, which had been half of the motivation of my coming here in the first place.

"Yeah…me, too. It's way too crowded. I have no clothes, though, and there really isn't anywhere else to get them. Not good clothes, anyway."

My answer seemed to please him because he nodded slightly and turned his attention to a spot in front of us. His eyes were unfocused and I realized that he wasn't looking at anything in particular; he was simply looking away from me. I was curious to know what it was that he was thinking, and I grew bold in the strange stability of our situation.

"If you can't stand it so much, then why are you here? I mean, not that I care or anything, but…" I let the sentence go unfinished because of the unfortunate turn it took right around the middle. I couldn't be around Seto for five minutes without somehow making myself look like an idiot. I knew that I wasn't as stupid as he thought that I was, but I was beginning to get an idea of why he had come to that conclusion in the first place. He made me nervous just by being in the same room, and doubly so after last night. Every time our eyes met I could see that the way he looked at me was just slightly askew, and it was all too similar to the way he had looked at me in my dream. I followed his line of sight to an invisible spot in front of the two of us and waited for his response.

"Hmph. Your gift for words is uncanny, as always. I'm here because I have to be, not because I want to be. I didn't have any choice in the matter."

I smiled and dared to glance back over to where I knew he sat, and I found him watching me, as though he had been for awhile. He probably had been…the weirdo. I wasn't entirely sure what sort of game this was that he was playing, but I had a sneaking suspicion that I was playing along, and had been playing along since he had gotten here. I didn't quite care at the moment, far too intrigued with this new, alternate version of Seto that, while still being a jackass, was also able to carry on a decent conversation.

"Still taking orders from your little brother?"

"…Yes."

I laughed quietly and pictured Seto being bossed around by his brother, a boy smaller than Yuugi and not eve half his brother's height. It was good for Seto, whether he realized it or not. He needed someone to take care of him and it was obvious that without anyone around to constantly monitor him he would either go off the deep end permanently or work himself to death within a week. I respected his brother for the incredible feat of keeping Seto alive as long as he had. I spoke without thinking, distracted by my train of thought.

"Well, good then. You need to get out more often."

Seto said nothing to that and turned his head forward again, evidently thinking over my opinion. I wondered if I had been too familiar with him, and my blood started pumping faster in anticipation. I shut my eyes briefly and forced away the images that came forward from the shadows in my mind.

"_Fuck me."_

_Seto paused briefly, and then bit down with a forceful pressure on my already bruised skin._

"_Anything for you, puppy dog."_

I opened my eyes and found myself staring into a spanning blue that was far closer than I wanted it to be.

"What's wrong with you?"

I sank deeper into the couch, trying to put some distance between us, and Seto retreated back into his relaxed position, still eyeing me suspiciously.

"Nothing. I just…didn't sleep well last night."

Two fingers came to rest on the side of my neck, and the simple action hurt more than it should have. I realized far too late that he had seen the mark on my neck, and now with his fingers putting pressure on the bruise, I knew that the casual small talk had come to an end. I stilled completely and stared blindly at something in front of me that was not there, unable to move underneath his touch. I could feel his eyes on me, but I wasn't going to turn and meet the gaze. I was scared silent, not really knowing why.

"So, then, you do remember. And here I thought that this was the only proof that it actually happened. I thought that perhaps I was wrong, perhaps I misjudged you completely. But no…I can still see it in you. You're not very good at hiding your feelings. Your eyes betray you each and every time."

I swallowed slowly, extremely aware of his touch on my skin. He still hadn't removed his hand and he increased the pressure on my neck, causing a dull ache to form underneath his fingertips. I said nothing and never moved an inch. He spoke again, braver in the absence of my objection.

"Should I ask what it was that kept you awake all night? Or do I already know the answer?"

The pace of my breath increased considerably, and other than that I remained completely motionless. A million thoughts and questions raced back and forth in my head, but they were much too fast for me and I couldn't catch a single one, leaving an uncomfortable silence around the two of us that was undoubtedly uncomfortable for me alone. The pressure on my neck decreased slowly, and after a moment I felt the fingertips remove themselves completely. The skin of my neck felt cold and abused in the absence of contact, and I lifted my hand to the spot and covered it, closing my eyes in the process. I felt him sit back, moving away from me slightly but not quite enough for my nerves to calm.

"I will allow this absence from school to slide for now, as long as you understand that you cannot run away forever. I know where you live, and I know where you go, and I know where you are supposed to be at all times. Do not underestimate me. And don't think that this freedom I have allowed you will last forever."

I refused to open my eyes, even as a hand removed my own that I had pressed against my neck and was fast replaced with a slight and soft pressure that I recognized from experience. Seto kissed my neck, not aggressively or harshly, but as soft and silent as a kiss was allowed to be. It was over as quickly as it had begun, and he pulled away and spoke once more.

"This will not fade with time. The visible mark might disappear, but the one inside your mind is permanent. You belong to me."

It was at that exact moment that I decided I was finished listening to him. If anyone here was sick, it was Seto. True, I had some intense issues that I wasn't yet ready to face, but this was insane. I…belonged to him? I stomped down mercilessly on the piece of me that rather liked the way that his claim sounded and I stood up from my seat, grabbing my bags and turning away from where he sat. I wasn't sure if I was more afraid of Seto than I was of myself, but at that moment I felt as though he posed more of an immediate threat, and I took a shaking step forward in the direction of the mall exit. That one step was all that I was able to accomplish before I felt a sharp tug on my arm, and I turned to find Seto's hand around my own. He was already standing and the look on his face was serious and displayed nothing but intensity and determination.

"Okay…Kaiba…you're really starting to freak me out. Let go of my hand."

He did what I asked without sparing a second, and yet I still stood there next to him, wondering why I hadn't continued to walk away. He snatched the opportunity and stepped quickly to the side, now standing directly in front of me. The smirk that coiled the corner of his mouth intrigued me, and I almost wanted to ask him what the hell he thought was so damn funny. I was beginning to feel like a cornered animal, and my fear and apprehension grew.

"Deny it."

Seto crossed his arms over his chest and watched me to see what I might do.

"What?"

"Deny it."

The fear that had gripped me slowly unwound, and I felt confusion settle into its place.

"Deny what?"

Seto paused momentarily and considered how to present the question he wanted me to answer.

"Tell me…that I was wrong that day. At school, two days ago. Tell me that you didn't want me to do what I did."

Understanding fell into my mind and I remembered what he had said to me on that day.

"_Why…?" I asked him aloud, and my voice was angrier than I was._

"_Because you wanted it."_

My face must have shown my comprehension because Seto spoke again, this time with a more demanding and impatient tone.

"Tell me that you didn't want it."

I stared at him, no doubt with an expression of pure distress. My mouth opened, but no words escaped, and I realized that I had nothing to say. I couldn't do it. I couldn't deny it. Each second that passed brought Seto's hardened stare deeper into my heart, and I fumbled for the words that simply would not come. I grew angry, and then seconds later fell into hopelessness as I continued to stand in silence, and I let my eyes fall to the ground in defeat.

I couldn't deny it. Why did I feel as though I had lost something precious with that realization?

"You can't do it, can you? I thought not. None of that matters, anyway. What's mine is mine, and nothing you have to say could change a thin-"

"Shut up!" I shocked myself, perhaps even more than I shocked Seto with my outburst. He did shut up, and stared at me in a terrifying blend of rage and disbelief.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I don't care what you think you know about me. Even if it is true…there isn't any need for you to use that to your advantage. So…now that you know for sure how I feel…what does that matter? It doesn't guarantee you anything. I'm not…" I stuttered and frowned, the words came haltingly and I had no idea what they were until I heard them myself. "I'm not…just some thing that you can take…like you do for everything else that you want."

Seto's glare softened, not into compassion or understanding, but into an oddly amused grin.

"Is that so? Tell me, puppy dog, what are you going to do about it? It's already done." He took a step forward into an already sparse area that separated us, and his proximity alerted me to a fact that had previously escaped me.

Weren't we still in the mall?

We were, and as he moved to grab my shoulder I jumped back and set my bags down for a moment, putting both of my hands out in front of me and blocking him for what I knew would be a very limited amount of time.

"Hey, wait! There are people everywhere! What if-"

"What if what…?" He raised his eyebrow and watched me warily, looking honestly confused. Was I the only one here who knew that this was…well, it was…it _was…_

…wasn't it?

I looked back and forth. The mall was just as crowded as ever, if not more so by this time in the late afternoon. I knew that no one was watching, but still I felt so self-conscious. Didn't Seto care? Turning my eyes back to him, I picked my bags up off the floor slowly and never took my sight off of him. Standing upright once more, I took a step back, then another, and finally turned my back to Seto and walked away. My footsteps were rushed and I left the mall moments later, never once turning back to see if he was behind me. If he had been, I was sure that he would have made his presence known by that point.

* * *

I knew what I was feeling, and I knew that Seto did not feel the same way. Regardless of how strong my desire might have been, it was an uninvited desire and the idea of it made me sick. Even Seto himself had said that. 

But it was a sickness that I felt wasn't totally necessary, especially when I considered the reasons why I had decided that I felt this way. There simply weren't any.

Still, the idea of one of my friends, or even a complete stranger finding out the way that things had become between Seto and I threw me into such a panic that I avoided the thought completely. I was willing, at this point, to accept the fact that there was something wrong with me, and I couldn't do anything about it. I just didn't want anyone to find out. What if everyone left me behind…? All of my friends gone, because I was weak and fell under the will of Seto Kaiba, some who I had always made a big show of hating. I had been defeated after all, and it was only a matter of time before Seto came to claim what was rightfully his. The absolute worst part of the whole thing was that I knew there wasn't anything I could do to stop him.

I didn't want to stop him. And that knowledge alone was enough for me to need to hide from.

I spent a good part of the remainder of the day absentmindedly putting away everything that I had bought, digging through the remaining pile of clothes on the floor and deciding which things to keep, and which things to get rid of. It was all just a game, something to occupy my mind in the absence of Seto. I couldn't help but wonder what might have happened if I hadn't left when I did. Would he have kissed me right there, in front of the entire world? Probably. I knew that Seto could not possibly care any less about the world or the people in it than he already did, and that went double for what those people might have thought or felt about he and I. He didn't care about anyone but himself. I thought that perhaps in a situation such as this one it might do me some good to feel the same way. I wished that I could.

The discomfort I felt was for myself.

* * *

His lips took hold of my own and he kissed me as though I might disappear in moments. It was true, this was only a dream, and every second mattered. I kissed him back, my lips just as harsh and unforgiving as his own, although I knew that the kiss would always be his. I would always only kiss him back. 

Seto's body, while thin and lanky as it always had been, still felt heavy with his full weight atop my own. One of his hands was hopelessly tangled in my hair, which I knew from the feel of the twisted locks on my face must have been a mess. His other hand had been pressed against my chest and I could feel the indentations from his nails that were left behind as he dragged his fingertips down my skin and slipped his hand between the two of us, taking hold of my now painful erection and pumping me furiously in time with his erratic thrusts. I was so close, we were so close, but something dawned on me even as I felt my fever near its breaking point.

I couldn't see Seto. I knew he was there, I could feel him with every sense that I had, but his room was darker than the night itself, and I couldn't see him or anything else. It was as though my eyes were closed and I could not open them for anything. It was only important at the time because it was the only thing that I could understand in the final frantic moments that gripped my mind as I felt Seto coming inside of me. I was at that point so carelessly balanced on the edge that just the feeling of it alone sent me tumbling over as well, and my arms tightened dangerously around his neck. It was too frenzied, too uncontrollable, and with a startling cry that shook the instability of my mind I came into his hand. My hips were trembling and my heart felt as though it might burst inside of my chest, and I let my head fall back into the pillows underneath me, unable to hold it up any longer. Seto's muscles were shaking as he collapsed suddenly and laid quietly on my chest, listening to my heart race as he let his own try to steady. Neither of us spoke for the longest time, still drowning in the hazy realization of what we had just done. I brought my arms up around his shoulders and pulled him closer, not knowing why but feeling that it was right. He was still inside of me and for a strange and unknown reason I didn't want him gone, not just yet.

"…Seto?"

I could feel that his breathing had slowed down quite a bit after a few minutes had passed, and he sounded as though he were dozing off. I couldn't see a thing, even then, and I hoped that he was awake. I had to ask him before I awoke myself.

"…Hmmm?"

I took a deep and calming breath, hoping to smooth out my voice. I knew that it was cracked and worn sounding, but the ringing in my ears prevented me from hearing myself correctly.

"Why is it always so dark when we do this?"

Seto raised his head and I felt it happen rather than saw it. I honestly didn't think that I would be able to see my own hand in front of my face if I had held it up. He found my lips with his own and kissed me, and the touch of it was just barely there. There was no pressure, no force to the kiss, and it surprised me somewhat.

"It's for you…so you can lie to yourself. You believe that if you can't see it, then it isn't happening."

His head came back to rest on my collarbone, and I relaxed deeper into the pillows underneath him, wondering if I would remember this when I awoke.

A hand descended out of the darkness and I felt his fingers covering my sightless eyes, as though I would see something that I wasn't supposed to see. I knew that I couldn't see a thing, but Seto's hand never left, protecting me from the sight of the two of us.

"That's what's so important about the night…and being blind."

The phrase confused me and I made a noise that asked him to explain. He never responded, and I tightened my hold around him and tried to get his attention. His hand was still over my face, and it felt strange in a promising sort of way.

"What's so important about it?"

He sighed and kissed the skin below his lips, a place just down from my neck.

"It doesn't matter which one you are. Whether you're blind or lost in the night. You can't see yourself, either way."

* * *

AN:...Hi. Ahhh...sex. Puppyshipping sex. Ain't it grand? This really isn't the lemon...the lemon comes later. It's just that entire story is realy limey... but I like it, and I hope that you do, as well. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think. Happy Puppyshipping! 


	3. 003

The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

Part Three

By Katsuya Kaiba

* * *

Is it really so strange?

My thoughts ran free as I slowly walked to school on Monday morning, after surviving what turned out to be a very dull weekend. I spent most of the time in bed, avoiding the irresistible temptation of sleep and all the while knowing that my efforts would be in vain. Each time that I fell into dreaming was the same, and the dream never changed or altered itself in any way. Always Seto and I together, and my eyes were always shielded from the sight of us.

I felt as though my ability to see had been taken for granted. It's always so easy to see things for how they truly are, and even though I still had my eyesight I had lost something that I hadn't known was important, or even that it existed. My ability to see myself, for what I really was and the things that I truly wanted…_that_ was gone. I did remember what Seto had told me when I asked him about the darkness. And I knew that he had been right. This thing inside of me was real, it was my true feeling and I was the one who felt it, me and no other. It didn't really matter that Seto had been the one to draw it out. It was still there, had been there for an unfathomable amount of time, unbeknownst to me.

Now, a particular definition of this 'thing' that was mine I did not have. The only things that I had to go by were the manifestations that I could identify as a result of feeling this way. The dreams…yeah, I could safely say that those were definitely a result of this newly discovered and much repressed Joey Wheeler. Another dead giveaway was my poor defensive tactics that made themselves known whenever Seto was within a five-mile radius. I almost tripped over my own feet at the memory of each opportunity I'd had to shove him off, push him away, or even just run blindly away from Seto, all resulting in nothing except a complete and illogical submission beneath his will.

Now that I thought about it, deeply and without interruption, I saw that every single thing that had changed about me had only changed due to something that involved Seto. Was this his fault?

No. That just wasn't it. But was it the fault of the two of us, together? Maybe. Or perhaps thinking of the situation as a 'fault' was the real issue. Maybe it was just something that happened to us. It certainly wasn't happening to me alone, and judging from the way that Seto had been acting recently, I thought that it was safe to say that he had been feeling somewhat different than he had been before all of this had happened. Before that day, last Wednesday…

What if there had been no Seto?

That thought nearly stopped me in my tracks, even though I knew that I would already be late to school as it was. Would this have happened to me if it had been anyone else? I considered that option for the longest time, but ultimately came to the conclusion that it didn't matter. It didn't matter because I didn't care about anyone else the way that I did for Seto. Not to say that I had suddenly and without warning fallen in love with him or anything. I hadn't, not at all, but I was willing to admit that there was a place for him in my mind that had not previously existed. And that was all. No deep feelings of tenderness or affection, just a small and well-placed interest that singled him out just a bit further than I did for anyone else.

I had never dreamt about anyone in that way. I supposed that I owed him a little something for the thought.

So, then, was it really so strange? Was I as sick as I had imagined? Maybe we both were. The idea of that made me smile, and I looked up from the sidewalk and grinned at nothing in particular, except the solitary thought that if I was going down, at least I was taking someone along with me.

I wasn't as late to school as I had thought I would be, and I arrived about five minutes after classes had begun. I didn't hurry, not wanting to add another second to the sentence that I had to serve listening to the nonsense that I mostly didn't understand, anyway. Turning the corner at the end of the hallway and reaching the door that I was supposed to be on the other side of, I was met with a very surprising sight.

Seto Kaiba, standing impatiently in front of the door and tapping his foot, waiting for something, or…someone. I prayed that it wasn't me. He saw me just seconds after I saw him, and his eyebrows furrowed even deeper at my arrival.

"Took you long enough."

I stood still in front of him, wondering what it was that I was meant to have done.

"To do what? Why aren't you in class?"

Seto crossed his arms over his chest and lost his impatient glare, settling instead for an expression devoid of meaning and staring at me blankly.

"Ensuring your attendance. You need to come to school more often."

I gave him a sort of half smile that conveyed my shocked amusement at his claim.

"Oh, yeah? What were you gonna do if I hadn't shown up?"

"I would have…ensured your attendance." He returned my smile, although the meaning behind it was drastically different than my own. I felt my eyes widen as I considered all of the possible implications of his statement.

"Well…what if I had just stayed home today?"

He laughed aloud this time, not unlike the way he did when he was challenged by a hopeful novice, looking for a chance to dethrone the world champion of gaming.

"Don't be ridiculous. I know where you live. I already told you that. Go ahead and try me. Stay home tomorrow."

I did not, under any circumstances, want to try Seto Kaiba. I looked past him at the door of the classroom and remembered where we were supposed to be.

"Okay…we should probably go to class now."

He lost his amused expression and thought for a moment, considering the option.

"Alright."

He turned and opened the door, and the two of us walked inside. Nothing could have prepared me for the looks on everyone's faces when we walked inside, both Seto and I at once and neither one of us attempting to destroy the other, but rather entering as though we'd come to school together. A hushed silence descended over the classroom but I ignored it and took my seat, smiling at my friends and opening my backpack. It was already shaping up to be quite a day.

* * *

"What's Kaiba doing?"

I heard Yuugi's question and without looking at my friend my eyes began immediately scanning the cafeteria. I hadn't seen Seto since the lunch hour began, and I had almost been able to forget about the whole situation, lost in the mindless chatter that I shared with my friends. I saw him finally, in the far corner table that he always sat at alone. It would have been kind of sad in a way, if my friends hadn't made countless attempts to try and coax him into a more sociable attitude. He would have none of it, preferring to work away the entire hour at his laptop, oblivious to the world.

It was safe to say that we had given up on trying to integrate Seto Kaiba into Society as a whole.

"I think he's lost it."

Seto was watching me. His computer was on the table in front of him, but it was closed and his attention was far from the tabletop. As soon as I caught sight of him our eyes met, and I realized that his line of sight had been on me for awhile…maybe the entire time I had been sitting here. A sharp shiver ran through my spine at the idea. He was starting to really creep me out, even more than he usually did. I sank into my chair and laid low, hoping that he might lose interest or busy himself with something else.

"Should we go and talk to him?"

I sat up in a panic and waved my hands in front of me in a very negative gesture.

"NO!…I mean…come on, Yuugi…Kaiba doesn't wanna talk to us. How many times have we tried to get him to come over here? It ain't worth it, just forget about him."

Yuugi eyes my reaction with a raised eyebrow, as did everyone else at the table, but he nodded and went back to eating his lunch. That had been close. There was no way I was going to be able to keep this thing of mine a secret if Seto suddenly decided to join forces with the rest of the group. But he would never do a thing like that…would he? He was probably just keeping an eye on me, something I had recently come to accept as my unavoidable fate.

I couldn't let him come over to our table, nor could I let my friends go to him. They had to be apart at all times, which had been miraculously easy until just a few days ago. Now that I had a reason to keep them apart, the task grew to nearly impossible proportions. But Seto was loud and spoke however he felt was necessary, and he was ashamed of nothing and hid even less. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he would say something to me or about me that would give everything away. And that I could not afford. There wasn't any way that I was going to let my friends know what had become of me. I wasn't exactly sure how they would react, but I knew that I did not want to find out. Perhaps it was drastic of me, but the situation was slowly spiraling out of my control, and I at least wanted to sort out the way that I felt before I started broadcasting my feelings to everyone around me.

"He's still staring at us…actually, Joey, I think he's staring at you."

I felt the blood draining slowly out of my face as I turned once again to look at Seto. We weren't so far apart that it wasn't obvious to say who he was staring at. When I was sure that he could see my face I glared at him, frowning in disapproval. He returned my expression with a small smile, daring me to do something about it. I turned my head back to my own table and ate my lunch, utterly defeated.

"He's just trying to fuck with me. Don't pay him any attention."

What exactly was he trying to accomplish? I was worried about what Seto might be up to, and I was unnaturally silent for the remainder of the hour, anticipating the worst. Even after Seto packed up and left a few minutes after I had last looked at him, the thought of him was still very near. I wondered what he might try next, and what it was all going to eventually lead up to. With Seto, there was no telling. But what truly scared me was the memory of Seto and what he was willing to do in order to take something that he wanted. I had known Seto for at least two years now, and during that time I had witnessed his destructive and forceful habit of stopping at absolutely nothing to achieve what he desired numerous times, and to think that _I _might be that new and seductive something was a thought that terrified me on all existing levels. He was intelligent, calculating, and relentless, taking drastic and even unnecessary measures to attain what most would consider the unattainable.

But not Seto. Nothing was impossible, or even unlikely, as far as he was concerned. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to sleep that night. Not that it mattered, since I hadn't been sleeping well for what seemed like years, but now there was a new and more threatening reason to lie awake. Seto knew where I lived. Or so he professed, and I really did not want to find out if he was lying or not.

I sighed wistfully, accepting my fate and resolving to wait quietly to see what Seto might do next. Whatever it would be, there wasn't a thing I could do to put a stop to it.

* * *

As soon as the final bell rang I was out of my seat and halfway through the door. I couldn't wait to get out of there, away from the burden of learning and Seto Kaiba. Unfortunately, I walked right out of one and into the other, and I blinked at the sight of Seto right in front of the school, leaning on the side of his car and looking impatient as always. He was still at least twenty feet or so away, and I seriously considered the option of turning around and walking right back into the school. I knew that he wouldn't wait around for long, but it was the idea of what he might do instead of waiting that troubled me. I approached him apprehensively and stopped when he was within an arms reach.

Not wanting to assume anything, I acted as though I didn't know what he was waiting for.

"Um…what are you still doing here? I thought you were the only person able to get out of this place faster than me."

Seto only snickered at my question and stood upright.

"Well, I haven't got all day. Get in."

Having said that, Seto proceeded to get inside the car himself, opening the back door and stepping inside. He sat in the farthest seat from the door and watched me expectantly, and when I made no move to follow him he frowned and ducked his head, glaring at me from inside the car.

"Heel, puppy dog. Or are you afraid of cars?"

What a jackass. I had half a mind to walk away and leave him there, and I almost did, but the thought of what might have befallen me in the following minutes, days, years…it gave me a little perspective. I begrudgingly tossed my backpack through the open door and sat beside him. The moment I shut the door the car began to move. I was vaguely curious as to who was driving the car, and if they, too, knew where I lived. I certainly wouldn't have been surprised. I glanced over at Seto from the corner of my eye and found that he was staring straight ahead, his eyes devoid of intent or emotion. I wondered if it would be out of place for me to say anything, but after sitting in complete silence for a minute or two I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know if I was supposed to be scared or not.

"Where are we going?"

Seto's response was quick.

"Home."

I thought about that for a moment before speaking again.

"Okay…my home or yours?"

"Yours."

I got the distinct impression that the matter wasn't up for discussion, so I let it alone and tried another approach.

"You wanna let me in on the big secret?"

"…What?"

"Well, for starters…I could have taken the bus. But for some reason that only you know, I'm getting a ride. Anything you wanna tell me?"

"No."

I looked at Seto directly, frustrated with his inability to give out information. He hadn't been exactly talkative the last few times we had spoken, but the forced tone of his voice made me feel as though I was asking him questions that I already had the answers to. Perhaps I did, but Seto didn't know that.

"Well…thank you. I'd rather not take the bus, but-"

"I know."

I didn't speak at first, wondering what he meant by that. I had been going to say that I had been having a bit of trouble as of late when it came to getting from the bus stop to my house safely, but no one, not even Yuugi knew what was happening. I had promised Yuugi that I wouldn't fight anymore, and even though I was never the one to start anything, playing the defensive got old very quickly. But now, I was curious as to just how much he knew.

"Kaiba…what do you mean, 'you know'?"

Seto never looked in my direction as he spoke to me, although I knew that he could feel my eyes on him.

"Rintama."

So he did know. My mind briefly touched on the subject of how he could have possibly known something like that, but it just as quickly skittered away at the possible answers. I really wanted to believe that Seto was not as crazy as he seemed to be. But crazy or not, he was right. Hirutani and the rest of the Rintama boys had it out for me in a big way, and while I had thought that I had seen the last of them some time ago, a few weeks back one of the newer boys had seen me walking home and immediately ran back to Hirutani with the location of my new neighborhood. Needless to say, it wasn't long before they paid me a visit, then another, and another, until I was out of ideas and seriously considering taking a later bus home. Hirutani wasn't around very often, but my money was on the fact that ever since I had left, the entire gang was slowly falling apart, which would explain why Hirutani was so desperate to have me back. We had been so close, though…every time I had to fight him off it hurt somewhere inside of me, regardless of what had happened between us since those old days. He was, and always would be, my very first best friend.

But somehow, Seto knew at least some of that, and I had no idea how.

"I don't think I wanna know how you found that out."

A small smile turned his mouth slightly and it was barely even noticeable. Only because I was staring at him directly was I able to see it.

"No…probably not."

"Well, do me a favor and don't tell anyone about it. In fact, don't talk to anyone that I know. I don't want them thinking that something's happening between us."

"Is it?"

Of all the loaded questions I had ever been asked, this was by far the most explosive. And anyway, Seto was the one who was following me around and acting so strangely, as though I were something that he was suddenly responsible for. I wasn't sure how to answer the question correctly, since most of it was theoretical and open to interpretation in the first place. I knew that there was something that was hiding between the two of us, but it was still in the shadows and remained to be seen.

"I…I don't know. I don't know much of anything anymore. But you…you're the one who's acting all weird, so you tell me. And what the hell was up with you earlier today?"

For the first time since I got into his car, Seto turned to look me in the eye. His expression was a thoroughly confused one.

"When?"

"At lunch. Everyone thought that you were staring at me."

"I was." His expression turned into a slightly amused grin, still only barely there and hidden beneath the constant indifference that was permanently set into his features.

"Well, yeah, obviously, but do you have to be so weird about it?"

"And what was it that you found to be 'weird'?"

I couldn't believe that he was asking me this. Had it escaped him that it wasn't exactly discreet to simply stare at someone, regardless of their surroundings? I almost didn't answer him, but I thought that maybe Seto might not understand what it meant to be discreet in the first place. I had certainly never seen him act that way, and I wondered if he even knew what he was supposed to do in situations such as these.

"Look…I don't know exactly what it is that you're up to, but you can't just…stare at someone for half an hour and not look completely insane."

Seto watched me as I spoke, frowning, as if trying to wrap his mind around what I was telling him.

"Why should I care?"

"Because…you should!" I was beyond frustrated at that point. Just because he didn't care about what anyone else thought didn't mean that I should have to feel the same. "I care! All of my friends were about to go and see why you were doing that, and I had to convince them not to. Don't you understand? I don't want them to know!"

"You don't want them to know what?" Seto's eyes were on mine and I couldn't pull away from his gaze. His hold was far too strong, and I stared at him in silence like that for a long time. The car rolled to a halt, and I looked away for a moment and realized that I was home.

"Never mind." Seto's voice was small and it lacked the forceful authority that it normally had. It wasn't sad or empty, but it was quiet and unsure, as though he felt that he had done something he shouldn't have. I felt bad, although I didn't think that I had done anything wrong. I simply had no answers for him. I wasn't the one in control of this situation, he was, and if there were any answers at all, he already had them. I grabbed my bag and reached for the handle on the door, but something in the back of my mind told me not to leave the situation as it was. I turned back and faced him fully, not sure of what it was that I had to say, but knowing that I needed to say something before I left, if only for my own peace of mind.

"Look…I'm sorry abou-"

Whatever I had meant to say was lost when Seto kissed me, right there in the car. That was probably the very last thing that I had expected from him, and when I felt his lips on mine I instinctively pulled back, too shocked to think clearly. But Seto was too quick and when he felt my reaction his hand gripped my shoulder and he pulled me back into the kiss, and that time I did not back away. I wasn't sure if I was going to regret it later, but I didn't really care at the moment, because Seto Kaiba had never truly kissed me before, not like this, and I rather liked the feeling it gave me. A slightly airy sensation began to flutter and curl in the pit of my stomach, and I might have smiled against his lips had I been that daring. One of my hands found it's way up to his chest and I wound it into his shirt, pulling him closer. He complied, and in the same moment I felt one of his own hands slide from my shoulder where he had grabbed me before and it trailed slowly down my back, following the path on my spine and the feeling made me both nervous and excited in the same second.

He backed off after a few more moments and watched me closely, as though studying my reaction. I felt sort of like I was some kind of experiment, always under close examination and subjected to randomized tests, all towards a purpose that I had no clue as to what it might be. Still, I was dizzy in a way, a way that had nothing to do with balance. My thoughts were spinning and I felt lightheaded, and before he could ay or do anything else, I opened the car door and stepped outside. Leaning into the interior and grabbing my backpack, I snuck one last glance at Seto before shutting the door and walking up the driveway to my house. I never looked back, and after a moment I heard the car drive away, leaving me alone with my strangely buzzing thoughts.

No…it really hadn't been so strange. This feeling, whatever it might be…it wasn't so bad.

* * *

That's hot...and a little squishy. I hope that it was enough squishiness for you all, because I don't think that the rest of the story is 'cute' by any standards. Well...it's sexy, though. That's fair, isn't it? This chapter didn't have any of the limey goodness in it, and I do apologize for that, but rest assured, the lemon is like, eight pages. 10 font. I hope that it will not dissapoint. It's comin', it's comin', just give them some time to angst a little more first.  



	4. 004

The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

Part Four

By Katsuya Kaiba

* * *

I arrived at school the next day earlier than usual, partly because I had gotten more sleep the night before than I'd had in days, and partly to reassure Seto that I would indeed be attending classes that day. He was already seated when I walked into the classroom, and before I went to my seat I stood in the doorway for a moment, quietly watching him as he sat there in silence. Most of the students were already in the room, some standing around and some sitting in their desks, but I looked past them and watched Seto, wondering if I should make my presence known to him. I decided to wait, and a second later he turned his head to the doorway and I met his eyes halfway there. His expression never wavered and remained empty and still, but he never turned away and I didn't either. We were like that for a few moments, and then something came over me and I smiled at him. It wasn't a grin or a smirk, just a small and simple smile that was silent and wasn't intrusive at all. He didn't return it, although I was glad for that in a way, because if he had I probably would have been even more afraid of him than I already was. 

I broke the contact and walked to my desk, greeting my friends and digging around in my backpack, searching for the homework that may or may not have been done. I didn't have all that much room to care.

The day passed far faster than usual, but that might have been attributed to the fact that I was paying even less attention than normal, finding myself occupied instead with watching Seto out of the corner of my eye. His desk was one row ahead of mine and on the other side of the room, so while I didn't have to move an inch in order to see him, he had to turn his head quite a bit to be able to see in my direction. Which happened a lot more often that I remembered it happening a week ago. I never called him on it, nor did I look at him directly in return, but it was interesting to watch. He sure was fascinating to observe.

When class let out for lunch, I made no particular rush out the door and instead I told my friends that I would catch up with them in a minute, hoping to speak to Seto before there was an encore of yesterday's events. However, glancing around the emptying room told me that he was already gone. I stood by my desk for a moment, wondering what the best thing to do at that point was. If he was already in the cafeteria, then I couldn't just walk up to him when everyone else was around and expect them not to think something was up, especially if there was no loud and attention drawing fight that came quickly afterward. But if he had taken the hint yesterday, then I wouldn't have anything to worry about. I somehow doubted the idea of dealing with Seto on any level and not having anything to worry about, however, and I walked out of the classroom, still debating the issue but not wanting to waste any more of my lunch hour.

The cafeteria was just down the hallway, and I walked through the crowded mess, stepping lightly to avoid being crushed by the school kids that were all traveling in different directions in the same small area. As I walked by one of the classrooms towards the end of the hallway I felt a sudden and startling pull, and a strong grip around my uniform collar yanked me forcefully in through the open door, a door that had not been open previously. I cried out in a panic, but my voice was muffled by a hand that quickly fell over my lips, crushing my scream into a whisper. I heard the door close behind me and my arms were both in front of me, waving wildly in a vain attempt to free myself, but whoever it was that had grabbed me and pulled me in here still held tightly to my collar, and an arm came around my neck and held me still. My mouth was still covered, and I stopped struggling for just a moment, wondering if maybe…

"Hello, puppy dog. If you'll stop screaming, I might consider setting you free."

All of the muscles in my body relaxed at the sound of Seto's voice, although relief probably wasn't the most logical reaction in a situation like this one. I leaned back slightly into his front, and the hand that was covering my mouth fell away. The arm that encircled my neck, however, remained in place, and after a silent moment passed I felt his other arm slip around my waist and his hand sat lightly on my hip. I would have pulled away from him if I hadn't felt so damn comfortable like that. I couldn't see him since we were both facing into the room, which I could now see was an empty classroom. I wondered why he had brought me in here.

"…Seto, I –"

I stopped speaking suddenly and realized with horror what I had just done. I hadn't meant to call him by his true name, but that had been how I had begun to refer to him in my mind, somewhere along the way, and the slip up had been bound to happen eventually. I'd never called him anything but Kaiba to his face, and to deviate form that habit felt…well, it felt as though I was acknowledging something too soon. And furthermore, no one was allowed to call him Seto, no one save his brother. I had just done something terrible. I tensed up immediately and began to stutter an apology.

"Oh! I'm-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…Kaiba, I-" I tried to pull away from him so I could see just how angry he was, but his hold only tightened and I feared the worst. I was blind in this position, and I couldn't even guess as to what his next move might be, it was all behind my back. I stopped my attempts at escape when I felt his face close to mine and his breath fell on my neck, signaling his proximity. I stiffened slightly and waited quietly for whatever it was that he was going to do.

"Shut up. And don't call me Kaiba anymore." His voice was so close to my ear I could feel the vibrations from his throat in the air, and the skin on my neck broke out in a trail of goosebumps that skimmed the surface where his breath touched. So then…he wanted for me to call him Seto. There were thousands of possibilities for why he might want that, and each and every one of them raced around in my head so quickly that I felt like my mind would literally shut down right then and there. I knew that he wouldn't say the reason, so I thought it best to steer clear of the issue and continue with what I had meant to say to him…whatever that had been. I had totally forgotten it all in the warm and strangely seductive hold that Seto had over me, but I spoke anyway and prayed that it would sound somewhat coherent.

"I, uh, I'm supposed to be somewhere."

As soon as my words reached Seto, he released his hold on me and stepped back once. His motions were dripping with irritation and I turned around quickly. His hands were now on his waist and he stared at me blankly, watching and waiting for me to leave. I didn't, not just yet, because I still really wanted to know why I had been kidnapped like that in the first place. That definitely qualified as kidnapping.

"Well, I'm not saying _immediately_…just soon. Don't be like that." I was surprised with myself and the levels of liberty I was taking with Seto. No one I had heard of dared to speak to him the way that I usually did nowadays. But he was already slowly but surely ruining my social life, so the threats of old grew dim and faded away in this new and tentative relationship that was forming. "Just tell me what you wanted…I still want to know."

"I don't remember mentioning that I wanted anything." He never moved and held his aloof stance, although it seemed strange that he was able to wear his mask of indifference so perfectly after dragging me in here by force.

"You must…otherwise you wouldn't have kidnapped me like that. You know, I thought I as gonna have a heart attack." I smiled, hoping that I might be able to lift the eternal and shadowy discontent that surrounded Seto at all times. He bought it momentarily and let his arms fall back to his sides.

"You should pay more attention to your surroundings. I'm not to blame for your carelessness."

"Alright…fine. If you've got nothing to say to me, then I'll just be leaving."

I took a single step forward and watched Seto the entire time to see if he would move out of the way. He was still standing right in the doorway, and would have to step aside if I was going to go anywhere.

There were two motivations behind my actions. The first, and the more recognizable, was my intention to go to lunch and eat as soon as possible. The second motivation, and the one that I only half admitted to in the first place, was that I somewhat wanted to see if Seto would actually let me leave. I really didn't think that he would, but then again, he had done a whole mess of things recently that I also had not previously believed he would do. So, I was much more careful in my judgment of Seto and his inner workings, and I was testing him in a way, at that moment.

As I had suspected and secretly hoped, he never moved and continued to stand stiffly in the middle of the doorway. I took another step, and could take no more after that one because I was now within a foot of Seto himself and he still hadn't so much as flinched. Rather, he was grinning coolly, and he looked as thought he held a terribly fascinating secret inside of him, and I got a bit nervous as it also looked like he was willing to share it with me. I thought briefly about taking a step back, but decided against it, as I didn't want Seto to think that he was in control.

Well…I think that it was actually that I didn't want Seto to know that he was in control. And that was foolish of me, because he believed that about every situation, every second of every day.

"Going somewhere?" Seto crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a bit, getting comfortable.

I frowned at his over confident sneer, and stepped lightly to the right, hoping to edge around him and slip through quickly before he could turn to catch me. I was pretty positive that he would give it a shot.

The idea fizzled as I watched him step just as quickly and to the same side as I had, blocking my path once again. For good measure and another reason that seemed to be loosely based on amusement, I stepped over to the left this time, and I nearly smiled as Seto mocked my actions once more, seeming as a mirror image of my pathetic attempts at escape.

"I guess not," I offered. I gave up and relaxed, leaning back on my heels and wondering what I should do at that point. I wasn't angry or scared, quite the opposite, really. The game had been fun, and I was becoming seriously interested in what Seto had wanted with me, although there really weren't so many options, and I probably could have taken a well-aimed stab in the dark at what it might be that Seto wanted with me and an empty classroom.

Guessing wasn't any fun, thought, I thought to myself, and I smiled honestly at Seto before ripping into him.

"So then…do what you brought me here to do. I haven't got all day."

I'd only wanted to see what he might say.

Both of his hands came forward quicker than I had thought movement was possible, and I hadn't even enough time to blink before I felt his grip on my shoulders swing me around completely, and my back collided painfully against the door that Seto had previously stood in front of.

I began to really wish that I had been able to slip past him, moments ago. My eyes shut instinctively when I hit the door, and I found that I couldn't open them afterwards, too shocked at how fast it had all happened and just a bit too frightened to look and see what might be in Seto's eyes.

"Such a threat." His voice wasn't much more than a whisper.

The only thing in my mind was escape, to get out from under him somehow, and ask questions later. It never happened, of course, and although I wasn't completely sure of myself, either way, my body wasn't responding to my plan at all.

"Wait!" I forced my hands up blindly and found Seto's holding me by my shoulders, and I tried to pry them off, with no success. I still refused to open my eyes, and I held desperately to his hands and begged for mercy. "I didn't mean it."

A long period of silence settled around us, and after a while I got too curious and opened my eyes. Seto hadn't moved at all and neither had I, and he stood still over me and watched my face quietly with a look that betrayed absolutely nothing.

I thought in that moment that it really wasn't fair, how he was able to do that, because it left me with nothing to go off of. I was constantly guessing as to what it was that he might be thinking or feeling, but I knew that he could read me without even trying.

"I mean it." I watched his lips as he spoke, and remembered how they tasted. "And so do you. Keep your eyes open."

I stared at him, and my breath caught in my throat. Why did that feel so familiar?

The dream Seto and the real one were beginning to show similarities, and I panicked at the possibilities. I wasn't sure if I did want to do what I had done with Seto in my dreams, but suddenly it seemed as though it might be an option. I hadn't ever thought to consider the dream as a possible reality, but now a dark feeling descended, and my muscles began to grow tense with worry. Those had been dreams, and nothing more.

"Seto…I'm leaving now." I didn't want to see this, not here.

There wasn't any way to sort all of this out with him so close and watching me so intently, and I lifted one of my hands and found the doorknob that was just beside my hip. He knew what I was doing, and yet he never once moved to stop it, noticing that I'd had just about enough of the situation for the time being. He was far too intelligent for his own good, and I think that he sensed that I would be scared away indefinitely if he pressured too much farther.

I turned the knob slowly, waiting to see if he would act against my intentions.

When I had the door open, and still nothing had happened, I moved to the side and slipped out through the opening, shutting the door behind me. I was running on pure instinct at that point, and when I reached the table my friends sat at I realized that I had already walked through the rest of the hallway and made my way into the cafeteria without even noticing that I had taken a single step. It was all too much, and far too soon.

Wasn't it just days ago that he and I were the very worst of enemies? It was the truth.

It had only been just a few days, and even though I knew for a fact that things would never be the way they once were, I still didn't understand how that had come to pass.

I wished that I knew what it was that had happened to me, to the two of us, Seto and I. I wanted to know if he had been right that day, when he had reacted to what he had seen in my eyes. Something that I was unaware of. Was I sick? And more importantly, how much longer would that worry hold me back from whatever it was that I wanted from him. I only wished that I knew what I wanted myself.

Seto seemed to know everything there was to know about the situation, but that thought held no reassurance for me. I wanted to see myself for what I truly was and for the things that I had inside, and I wasn't able to do that yet.

Is it really so strange?

* * *

I found Seto just as I had expected to find him, outside of the school at the end of the day. He stood as he had the day before, leaning against his car and staring at nothing off to the side, attempting to look as though here wasn't waiting for anything important. It was just as well. He hadn't seen me, and turned around and walked back inside the school. I wasn't ready for this. 

A few minutes later I was on the other side of the campus and leaving the school, walking around the outer edge of the property and taking care to avoid the streets that I usually took to the bus stop. I felt panicked, and my heart was racing as I stepped lightly and swiftly, rushing as quickly as I could.

I felt hunted, desperately trying to escape the attention of someone who was infinitely impossible to escape. What had been strange was now threatening, as I realized that even if I did make it home in one piece, Seto knew where that was, as well. He knew where the game shop was, and the mall, and every other place that I was known to have been or going to be. It felt like a trap, a race against time that I knew was impossible for me to win. He knew everything, everything that he needed to know that would ensure my entrapment, and quickly at that.

I started to sweat.

I needed to stop and think.

I stood still for a moment and took in my surroundings, finding myself in a quiet neighborhood that lay just beyond the school grounds. I had a vague idea of where I was, but it didn't really matter so much to me as did the fact that I was alone here. I sat down in defeat on the nearest lawn, for lack of a better seat.

Why was I panicking? I let my face fall into my hands as I tried to relax, and sat there for some time like that, regaining control over my nerves. I just…

I had no idea what to expect from Seto. I wasn't afraid of him, or at least, I had never been before. I had thought it strange that he was so…obsessed with my location at all times of the night and day, but the truth of the matter hadn't rung out clear until I found myself wanting to get away from him, if only for a few hours. I just hadn't wanted him to take me home today. And in all honesty, I wasn't sure that he intended to take me there. Just because he had done so before didn't mean a thing.

Maybe it was just…

Maybe I wasn't so afraid of Seto as I was of myself. That thought struck me harshly, and I looked up from the ground and stared at the level of my eyes, focusing on nothing. It wasn't so much that I was afraid that he might find me. There was no point to that, of course he would find me, and it would probably be pretty soon. But that wasn't what bothered me, and as I thought about it, the idea began to shed a little light on the inner turmoil that I had been blindly trying to discover.

Truth be told, I was afraid of what I would do when Seto found me, not the other way around as I had assumed without thinking. I knew what his presence did to me, and I couldn't stop him, no matter what he did. I hadn't the will to tell him no. That was what really lay behind the constraints of my mind.

I didn't want to say no.

I knew it, had known it, but now I was beginning to second guess my intentions, and why it was that I suddenly wanted to see him so much, right then. It came over me like a craving and a hunger, and I wondered if perhaps he might still be at the school, but I never really hoped for a second. Seto wasn't so big on waiting around for others. Still, I thought that he might not come after me right away, not after what I'd done at lunch that day. I did feel bad about that, but I hadn't any idea of what I was supposed to do.

What I wanted to do and what I truly wanted to do were becoming more and more alike, as was the Seto in my dreams and the real Seto himself. The Seto that was incessantly in my shadow, watching and waiting for the moment when I would discover whatever it was that he knew I would find inside of me.

He wouldn't be there. Even if I walked back right then to see him, I knew that he would be gone. I stood up anyway, and continued the way that I had been going, wondering if it was the right direction, or even if it was any direction at all. Wandering in circles didn't seem so far from the truth.

* * *

So...it's been awhile. I'm sorry for that, but even more sorry that there really isn't anything lemony in this chapter. I'll tell you what, though...there's plenty more to make up for that. I sincerely hope that you liked it, however, and implore you to see that there really is a plot, somewhere underneath all that citrus. An angsty one, too. Yay for angst.

How do you feel, reading this? Tell me.


	5. 005

The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

Part Five

By Katsuya Kaiba

* * *

Which way to go?

I began to really wonder if Seto would be angry with me. I'd left him twice now, once in the empty classroom, and now this, leaving him to stay on after school without saying where I would be. Never mind the fact that I didn't need to constantly inform him of my whereabouts. I knew that he would wait for me. And I never told him that he could go.

My wandering feet took me absolutely nowhere, and for that I thought that perhaps I was glad, in a way. It was the easiest thing in the world, to never make a decision, and instead to let the situation ride out, leading me somewhere, a place that I never meant to go. So much easier than choosing.

Seto didn't understand just how much harder this was for me. Or at least, how much harder it seemed to be. I had the impression that if any of this was hard for Seto, I wouldn't ever know about it. That made my feet stumble a bit, and I never lost my footing completely but the tension still surfaced.

Maybe Seto was just as confused as I was. At that thought, I began to feel even worse about everything, especially my part. I wondered if I could get him to talk. It was worth a shot, and it would put my mind at rest, if only for a moment. One single moment was plenty, and more than I'd had in a long while. Perhaps that was all that was needed, a chance for the two of us to sit down and sort this whole thing out. We had been fumbling around in the dark for long enough.

I took a different bus that day, one that led to the inner city and to where I knew that Seto must be. I didn't want to play this game anymore. Not by these rules, and definitely not without knowing how it ended. Or if it ended at all.

Kaiba Corp. was quite a walk from where I'd had to get off, but I knew exactly where I was and walked through the downtown streets quickly, knowing just what sort of a risk I was taking. My knowledge of the area was no coincidence, nor was it something I'd had a chance to put from my mind. I moved my feet as fast as they would go without running in full, and paid no one any mind until one of them called out to me, from not so far away. The sound was so familiar that I looked up, forgetting to feel the fear I knew I should be feeling. This wasn't a friend, not anymore.

I caught his eye and listened as I walked past him, my face full of nothing at all.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out."

Hirutani's voice was confident, but his eyes betrayed the worst in him, and they gave off his questioning thoughts. He had no idea what I was doing here, and it was obvious. I smirked as I passed him by, ignoring the group behind him. A single flick of my eyes in their direction told me that I wasn't going to get much further, outnumbered to the point of madness.

Speaking my mind wasn't going to hurt anything.

"Same to you…looks like it hasn't sunk in yet." I threw him and his crew a gesture, one that set everything off, but I knew that it wasn't anything that wasn't already hanging precariously on the edge of our shattered friendship. It hurt, too, to see the look on his face. I wondered if I wore the same one, because I felt just the way that he looked, completely empty, and without anywhere to go.

It seemed like we held out gaze much longer than we actually did. The second I lowered my hand and continued to walk away, the sounds of shoes scuffling and pounding over the pavement reached my ears. I didn't turn around to see how many had come after me. No matter what the number, it would be too many for me to fight off.

The very first hit was the last one that I felt, right on the back of my head and close to my neck. A dulled over sound traveled all the way through my skull to my ears, and it sent me under and over my feet, and then into darkness. I thought very slowly then, of Seto, and how I hoped that I hadn't made him angry. I hadn't had a chance to go and tell him that I was sorry for leaving him like that. I had wanted to.

* * *

I felt a soft and silent sort of dreaming sensation in my mind, and I realized that I was just about to wake up. The slow incoherence of dreaming began to fall away from me, but still I did not open my eyes. I didn't want to, not yet; this warm and drifting place that I was in was far too beautiful to leave voluntarily. Something had taken me here, forcefully, I could feel, but I didn't yet want to find out what that might have been.

I couldn't feel my body yet, and my mind lazily stretched first this way and then that, wondering softly if this was a familiar place that I was in. It didn't feel that way. Slowly, my mind began to comprehend what that might mean, and I got curious all of a sudden. This did not feel like always.

Begrudgingly, I opened my eyes just slightly. It hadn't been enough to focus on anything, however, and I sighed as I opened them fully, knowing that I was banishing the languid dreaming with the action.

As soon as my eyes were open and I saw where I was, I bolted up from the mattress that I lay on. This place was so familiar, and I knew that I hadn't even been there. Never in the flesh.

This was Seto's room.

I knew it because it looked exactly as it had in my dreams, and as I realized that I also remembered, in the same moment, what it was that I had been there for in the dream that I was recognizing. It was so dark, and I looked over to the wide window and saw that it was night outside.

How had I gotten here? This wasn't anywhere near where I had meant to go. The very last thing that I remembered was…

Rintama. No…I wouldn't ever go back. Maybe now they would finally get that into their heads.

I stretched my arms above my head, and then abruptly stopped once I felt the pain that shot down through my back at the action. My arms fell to my sides and I cringed, hoping that nothing was terribly wrong with me. But there wasn't any way to tell what had happened between that first hit and now. Judging from where I found myself now, and the sharp waves of pain that were still prominent and coursing over my body, I'd say that a fair amount of things had happened.

I shifted myself over to the side of the bed and turned on the lamp I found there, looking all around for any signs of life, namely Seto. I would have liked to have his position especially, since not knowing where he was seemed to be a bit more frightening than it was not to know. It was more pressing than it might have been, had it been anyone else but Seto.

No one was there, however, and I was in a serious amount of pain, most of it centered on my back. I stood up from the bed, shrugging it off the best I could and hoping that it might fade with time and movement. It didn't, but that didn't stop me from observing my surroundings a little better. My eyes caught a mirror on the other side of the room, one that stood from ceiling to floor. I walked around the bed and stood in front of it, biting my tongue when I saw how I looked.

"Christ…Seto is going to flip his lid."

I knew that he would, somehow, without even having a reason to think that. Seto was possessive, as I had come to learn in the very short amount of time that I had spent as…his prey? That must have been the correct word.

But still, I hadn't ever meant for this to happen. My reflection wasn't so bad, apart from the condition of my left eye, bruised worse than I had ever seen, on anyone. It throbbed, too, and the feeling struck me just as soon as I saw my reflection. It hadn't hurt so badly until I had seen it up close.

I lifted my hand to my face and tested the skin under my eye lightly. I could see that it wasn't the right color, but I was too curious and I drew my hand sharply away once the contact had been made. That had hurt…a lot, and I left the mirror behind and went back to sit on the bed. If it kept looking at myself I'd keep touching it, and that wouldn't help at all.

I sat down on the bed again carefully, wanting and then again not wanting to discover anything else that might be painfully broken or twisted within me. I remained still for a very long minute, and then an infinitely longer second one. Finally, I flopped down backwards on the mattress beneath me, instantly regretting the rough motion as another thread of pain wove throughout the muscles in my lower back. Cringing through it and settling myself into the sheets, I flung an arm over my eyes, willing myself to not leave the room and search the place for Seto. I wasn't sure if that was the best plan, but it was certainly an inviting one. I knew just how this room would look, somehow from my dreaming, but I still had no idea about the rest of his home, and I thought that this might just be my last chance to find out.

"Still…probably not the best idea." Mumbling under me breath, I resolved to stay put.

Seto would come around when he was good and ready, of that I was positive. But how long before that would happen? And where was he, in the first place? And what time was it, anyway?

I lifted my head, just enough to see the face of the clock that sat next to the lamp, on the nightstand near the bed. It was nearly one o'clock in the morning.

I seriously doubted that Seto had anything pressing enough to keep him out so late, but then again I couldn't be sure. Just then, I was struck with the realization that I really had no idea what Seto's life was really like, or even how he himself was outside of the school. I'd only ever seen him there, and in the various tournaments that we had participated in together. What was he like, here in his room, in his own house, when there was no one else around?

Tiredly, I smiled at the images and thoughts that flooded my mind with various possible answers. He was probably the same as he was all the time, only here and nowhere else. I glanced up at the lamp that I had turned on and wondered if it had ever been used before. Seto seemed like the kind of guy that might operate more efficiently in the dark.

The thought was so frighteningly realistic that I laughed quietly into the dimly lit room that I was sure was usually kept as such. Seto really was creepy, in a way. It wasn't a thought filled with malice or mockery, but instead with a sort of fondness for the way that Seto was, and had to be. Would he be Seto, any other way? Probably not, and I wasn't so sure that I would want him to be, anyway.

The shadows and the silence wore at my body and my mind, still strung out over the events of earlier, and it seemed as thought the rest I had gotten in between wasn't sufficient. I'd lost all track of time, and now that I thought about it, I wasn't even sure what time it had been when I had run into Hirutani. My eyelids fell slowly, so slowly that I didn't even notice that I was drifting off until the door to the room flew open, slamming into the wall on the other side and bouncing off halfway with the force of whoever had thrown it.

The shock of the sound it made was so startling that not only did my eyes fly open, but also I sat up with a start as well and looked over to where the noise had come from. The room was still dark, even though I'd left the lamp on beside the bed, but a few stray shards of light fell into the room from beyond the open door. I'd sat up far too quickly, and I felt all the blood rushing out of my head and then a dizziness overwhelmed me with the loss. I let myself lean back slightly and I placed my hands on the bed behind me and supported myself with my arms, waiting for something more and blinking through my blurry eyes.

The same door slammed shut, and then Seto came around the edge of the bed, studying me in silence. Nervousness crept over me at the inspection, but I knew what he was staring at.

"Christ, puppy dog…you look like shit."

"Um, yeah, I know…but thanks, anyway."

I smiled briefly, and he watched me do that, as well, from the place that he stood, just before the foot of the bed. He was mere feet away, but it seemed that the light from the lamp either wasn't strong enough to fully reach him, or his mere presence was enough to engulf the area around him in an impenetrable shadow. I smiled again, at my own thoughts this time, but Seto had nothing more to say. He looked preoccupied with something, although he never took his eyes from my face, and then I suddenly remembered what it was that I wanted to say to him.

"Hey…what…how the hell did I get here? And what happened to those Rintama kids? What…what happened?"

Seto stared at me for just a single second more before stepping aside, walking around the edge of the bed and sitting down on the right side, the farthest from the lamp.

_That figures,_ I thought.

He faced the wall in front of him, and all I could see was the back of his head. He wouldn't look over at me, which I felt was strange seeing as how it had been days now that I had been halfheartedly trying to stop him from doing just that. He remained silent, and I understood that he wasn't going to answer me unless I asked him a more particular question.

"…Seto?"

"What?"

His tone implied that I was speaking out of turn, but I ignored it and pressed on.

"…How did I end up here?" I left it at that. The room was silent for at least another minute more before he finally answered me.

"It doesn't matter. I wouldn't press the issue, if I were you."

That made me angry, for whatever reason. It certainly wasn't out of character for him to say something like that, but still, I thought that I at least deserved to know that much. I spun in a half circle on the mattress and sat cross-legged, facing his back directly. He still didn't turn, but he was listening.

"Hey! That isn't fair, and you know it."

My voice wasn't angry, like I'd thought it would be, but I sounded as serious as I was and the words held a certain finality within them that I swore I must have learned from Seto himself.

"Come on, tell me what happened…please?" I wasn't sure if the 'please' part of it would make any difference, but it was worth a shot. It didn't seem to affect Seto, though, none of it, and he just sat and listened to every single word in silence. Then, he stood up suddenly and walked towards the door, and I watched him do it with a growing sensation of dread in my stomach.

"Where are you going? Wait!" Seto's hand reached out for the doorknob, and just as he was about to turn it he looked back at my face for a few moments.

"Go to sleep. I've got things to take care of, and I'll be gone for a while. I only came back to see if you were all right."

I interrupted him, although I never meant to. I couldn't believe that he had something so pressing to see to, at this hour.

"No, wait…don't leave me here! Where are you going?"

"Never mind. You," here he pointed at me, "need to rest. You won't be going to school tomorrow, so do not bother getting up in the morning. I'll come to get you when I'm finished."

I didn't say another word, and Seto slipped out the door and shut it behind him. The sound it made was one of finality.

There wasn't anything that I could have said that would have made a difference. Seto had already decided how things were going to be, and nothing I could say would change that. Never.

I let my line of vision fall to the sheets I still sat on, wondering what it was that Seto was really doing. Was his life always like this, or had something important come up? I thought that it must have been the latter, because it was obviously strange that he had me, here in his house and his room, and his _bed_, and yet he hadn't a moment to spare for me.

And he still never answered my question. He had managed to escape that, for the time being, but I wasn't going to forget. I lay back onto the bed and closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me again. It wasn't long before it did, but not nearly as swift or as violently as before.

* * *

It was always just like this. I was never aware or awake when we began, and when I tried to open my eyes and grasp what was happening, I could never see a thing. It never mattered because I knew what was happening. I knew what I was doing. It was unmistakable, and it was…it was so dark and it didn't have to be that way. I couldn't see Seto, and I couldn't see myself. But I did think that soon, I might want to.

I wanted…I needed more. My arms were wrapped around Seto's neck and at some foggy and distant point that was already lost my hands had flattened across his shoulder blades, and my nails dug into the flesh that covered the bones there. I could come soon, I could, but I felt empty somehow. I hadn't gotten nearly enough of him, and I let one of my hands shakily slide down to Seto's lower back, feeling my way across him in the dark.

He didn't protest, being far too occupied himself, and my hesitation faltered and I quickly slid my other hand down his skin as well and placed both of my hands on his hips, pulling him harder into me than he was able to do on his own. I cried out at the result, and somewhere not far away I heard Seto laughing quietly, gasping for air around the edges of his chuckling, but the sound didn't reach me right away and I repeated the action over and over, driving him desperately deeper inside.

Still…I cried and cried but it wasn't enough, Seto was so close but he wasn't quite there, and I knew that I was coming; any moment now would be too late. I was dreaming and I knew it, but I didn't care because I was so lost. I was tired and it wasn't enough; I needed more of Seto, and I wasn't getting it.

I felt his tongue on my face after a long moment and had to choke back a sob at the sensation it caused, nearly sending me over the edge right then. I was going to lose my mind, there were tears on my face but Seto passed his tongue over them and they were gone, for a moment. Seto could feel it, could tell what I wanted and he lost his steady pace suddenly and followed my weak direction, pushing himself as hard and as fast as he could, and the startling change shocked me so much that I had to stop myself from screaming aloud.

My hands kept on pushing and pulling at his hips and I managed to use the leverage that Seto gave to lift my own hips up higher, and my grip held tight until I felt one of Seto's hands slip across my stomach and around my side, settling on the small of my back and holding me up off the mattress, so I wouldn't have to. It was just enough, and I let go of him and let him have whatever he wanted, pressing my head back into the pillow that I had forgotten and relinquishing any control that I might have had over anything at all, ever.

Something crossed my mind in the final moment that passed before I finally came and it struck me as odd, especially since it was the first coherent thought I'd had in what seemed like always.

I wished that I could open my eyes, and see what it looked like. What I looked like underneath Seto, and what he looked like on top of me.

It was a terribly empty feeling, and although I clenched my eyes shut as I felt myself break at last, I knew that there wasn't any point. Why, why close my eyes? I would have given anything for the sight.

Seto came only seconds after I did, and he did a very strange thing as soon as his moment was over. Up until just then, the dream had been so familiar, but this had never once happened. For in the moment that Seto always collapses over me and tries to catch his breath, instead I felt him lean slightly over to the left, taking care to keep his hips still as he was still fully inside me.

"Seto, what…?" What was he up to?

I heard him laughing again, quietly, and I reached up with one hand and tried to pull him back down, like he was supposed to do on his own, but it was too late.

I couldn't see a thing, and when I felt the cold and blunt gunmetal of the barrel against my temple, all I could do was widen my sightless eyes in the dark.

"…Seto?"

A sharp click of a hammer, and then he fired. The shot was so loud against my ear that it deafened me instantly, and the darkness never once faded as I fell back into the pillow underneath my head.

* * *

Yeah, that's sort of scary. Lemony AND scary...does it get any better? Hell, no... so, anyway, I'm posting all this because a) I felt kind of awful for not posting anything under this fic for so long, and b) that last dream is neato. It's definitely one of my favorite parts in the whole story...wait. Actually, everything is about to change, and it moves a lot faster, staring right now, with this dream, and then Seto's return the next day. You'll see. The ending to this fic is crazy. Crazy.

I know, and you're all, like, "Yeah, so, can we read it, or are you going to make us wait another million months for it?"

No. I will not. It's barely even halfway done. Oh, and that carzy lemon? It's seriously close.

Review me, if you want me to feel happy. I just lost my editor...sigh. And I have two books to edit, on my own. Deep breath...HEAVE...sigh. It was for the best. I hated her, anyway. But still, editing isn't easy, especially when you're going over something you've written, and you know that hardcore business-people are going to be nitpicking it, and looking for any reason they can to toss it aside. Wish me luck.


	6. 006

The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

Part Six

By Katsuya Kaiba

* * *

I heard my own screaming, and the sound of it must have been what pulled me out, but even though my eyes were open, I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop screaming and I sat up as quickly as I could and reached out at nothing, pulling and clawing the empty air in front of me until I finally froze. Instantly I became silent and my hands fell to my lap, but my breathing wouldn't slow and for a few moments I was afraid that I was hyperventilating. Blinking rapidly into the streaming sunlight from the window, I closed my mouth and simply let it fall on my face, feeling the warmth of it calming me somewhat.

Slowly, very slowly, my breaths came longer and less rapidly, and I took it in as calmly as I could, staring into the light and trying to reason with myself. It wasn't anything but a dream, foolish and untrue. It wasn't even real.

I glanced down at my hands, shaking uncontrollably, and I tensed the muscles in my arms and watched as the trembling eventually subsided. I wasn't exactly sure how long I sat like that, desperately trying to regain control over myself, but after a long while it seemed to work, and I let my head fall back to the pillow, sighing in relief.

That had been…horrible. Why had I dreamt that?

Seto's room was silent, and I laid and listened for a long time, until I was absolutely sure that I was fully awake. There wasn't any reason for to have dreamt something like that, and I pushed the memories away as they tried to edge forward out of the darkness in my mind. No…that was just a nightmare. It must have been born from the events of the day before, and then with that thought I remembered exactly why it was that I had woken up in this bed, in _this _bed, and not my own.

I supposed that Seto had brought me here, after…maybe he had miraculously found me on his way home from work. When I had run into Hirutani I hadn't been more than a few blocks away from the central Kaiba Corp. building, so it made at least some sense. It was all that I had to go off of, because Seto, for some unknown reason, had bluntly refused to tell me what had happened or how he had found me. He'd even gotten angry at my asking, but I refused to give up so easily. And where was he, anyway?

I was alone. He'd said that he would return when he could, which was odd, but I hadn't had the chance to ask what he was up to. I turned my head on the pillow and caught sight of the clock, which told me that it was nearly noon.

I sat up again, almost as quickly as I had minutes ago and stood up from the bed, walking over to the door that I had seen Seto come in through earlier. What could he possibly have to do that would take this long to complete? Had he even come back since the last time I'd seen him?

I approached the door slowly and stood motionless in front of it, wondering whether or not it would be such a bad idea to leave the room. It was almost certainly the wrong thing to do, but I had only been awake for a few minutes and I was already growing tired of the loneliness and unfamiliarity that clung to the walls here. And it _was_ strange for him to leave me here for so long, I knew that it was. I didn't even really know him at all, but I knew that. Seto's disappearance, combined with the inexplicable events from the day before, were just too irregular for me to be able to put from my mind so easily, and my hesitation slipped away as I reached out to the door handle and turned it.

Nothing happened. I frowned for a moment, wondering what had gone wrong. I tightened my grip over the metal and tried again. It was stuck…no, not stuck, I realized, feeling horror and confusion tighten their hold over the pit of my stomach.

Not stuck. Locked. Seto had locked me inside.

I said nothing, did nothing, and simply stared at the hand that held onto the doorknob. There was no way…would he?

I thought about the way that Seto was, and the way that he was towards me, and it dawned on me just then. Yes…Seto _would_. He would lock me in a room. Of course he would. But for what?

Did he think that I would leave while he was away, or was he up to something that he didn't want me to see? There were hundreds of plausible reasons, especially since it was Seto that I was considering. He was terrifying when he wanted something, and for whatever reasons he had, he wanted me. For exactly what purpose, I still couldn't say, because his attitude and outward character were constantly shifting, making it very difficult to judge him or his motivations.

But this…this was downright frightening. And not only that, it made the hour of Seto's return seem somehow far closer than it had moments ago. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions, but then again, maybe not. Why? Was all this as crazy as it seemed? It could have just been my nervous tension from the dream. But was I supposed to kept in a cage? And was I supposed to be all right with that?

I backed away from the door, not exactly sure what to believe anymore. The memory of the dream that I had just awoken from came rushing back suddenly, and the dulled fear inside of me grew with the recollection.

"Okay, that was a dream…that has nothing to do with this…" I hoped that if I heard myself say it, than I might believe that it was true, but then my voice filled with reason broke through and interrupted. "Maybe…I should go."

I turned to face the room and scanned the walls, searching for another door and finding none. There was still the window, and I hesitantly stepped forward and peered outside. That wasn't an option. I must have been on the second, or even maybe the third floor, because the distance from my window to the ground was much to far to be considered feasible. There wasn't even anything outside the window to grab a hold of, and I walked back to the bed and sat on the edge on quiet defeat. There wasn't any way out. I was locked in.

Sitting in the silence did nothing to banish my fear of Seto. It was that fear that had led me to hide from him when school had let out the previous day, and now, the only reason that I found myself in this predicament was because I had convinced myself that there was nothing to fear.

I should have gone home.

I should have just gotten in the car with him in the first place.

I should have…there were so many things that I could have done differently. Would they all have led to this end? Was this somehow my fault?

I took a deep breath and unclenched the fists that my hands had made on their own, trying to calm my nerves and think rationally. Perhaps I assumed too much. Maybe Seto himself hadn't locked it at all. Maybe it was to remain locked while he was away. If there was anyone else in his home, I was pretty sure that they didn't know about my presence. That made sense. That made it almost…not terrifying.

I needed something to occupy myself with until Seto came home. Sitting in silence and thinking was only driving me crazy. I glanced around the room, looking for something to do, but there was absolutely nothing, save the closet, the bed, and a couple of dressers against the walls.

I stared longingly at the dressers, finding that I was actually pretty interested in the sort of things that Seto might keep around, but I remained seated and stared. I might be fun, but what if Seto walked in while I was poking around through his stuff? It wasn't my stuff, and this wasn't my room, so I really didn't have the right. I averted my eyes instead and picked at my fingernails, hoping that maybe something exciting might just happen.

Now that I knew I couldn't leave the room, it made the act of leaving seem al the more enticing, and I fidgeted nervously, wondering whether or not I really wanted Seto to return. The fear from earlier had sorted itself out, and was now quickly shifting into boredom, and I glanced over at the clock and saw that a mere ten minutes had passed since I had last looked. Ugh.

I brought my legs onto the bed and sat cross-legged in the middle, noticing for the first time that my shoes hands ever been taken off. I pushed them off my feet, not bothering with the laces, and dropped them on the floor near the edge of the bed. I studied the mirror as I dumped them onto the floor, catching a glimpse of myself and the state of my uniform.

There were stripes of dirt all over my pants and my jacket, and the undershirt that I had worn had a tear across the fabric right over my stomach. What I really wanted to do was just strip all of the uncomfortable fabric away from my skin and put on something a little less destroyed, but I didn't have anything else to wear. This thought brought my grinning attention to the dressers against the wall. Perhaps Seto did.

It was excuse enough, wasn't it? I couldn't wear what I had on, it was torn and dirty, but then Seto might not like it if he came home and found me wearing his clothes. What to do…I was dead curious to see if Seto owned anything other than leather pants and black turtlenecks, and if he did, I had to know what it might be.

I stood up from the bed and approached the first dresser, considering my options. Seto wouldn't want for me to wear what I had on. No, definitely not. I smiled slightly and reached out with both hands, gripping the top drawer by its handles and pulling lightly to my chest. My smile faded when I finally looked inside the open drawer and saw nothing but the bare wooden bottom of the empty drawer. Nothing. I frowned for a moment, but then decided that the odds were still in my favor. There were two dressers total, and each one had four drawers. One down, seven to go.

The second drawer was empty, as was the third, and finally I slammed the fourth and final drawer shut on the first dresser, hoping that Seto's room wasn't totally barren. It was already empty enough to begin with; there was nothing at all on the walls, on the dressers, only a lamp and a clock near the bed. Seto had to own something besides the house itself, didn't he?

I walked over to the second dresser, which was placed dangerously near the bedroom door, although I noted that if Seto chose to unlock the door while I was peeking through his stuff, I would be able to hear the key in the lock and have at least enough time to shut the drawer and hopefully run back to the bed. It was thrilling, in a way, to do this while Seto was away, and I could feel the grin on my face as I pulled open the top drawer.

Socks. The entire drawer was filled with black socks, and I stuck my hand right into the perfectly lined rows and fished around for anything that might be hidden underneath. My hand hit nothing but more socks, and I gave up on drawer number one and moved on to the next.

I bent down slightly, reaching out for the handle on the second dresser drawer, but then I heard a soft sound, so quiet that I was almost positive that I'd imagined it. I turned and looked anyway, searching for the noise, and with a nearly inaudible gasp I realized that it had come from the door right next to me. Just half a second later I heard a hard snap, like the sound of a deadbolt turning, and I jumped away from the door and sat back down on the bed, trying to look as though I had been there the entire time. It wasn't as if I'd found anything interesting, anyway. Socks. Maybe Seto didn't have anything to hide. Or at least, nothing to hide with any physical evidence. My feet hung over the edge of the bed and I swung them idly, hoping that I looked as bored as I felt.

The door opened in that second and Seto came storming in afterwards, looking tired as hell. He slammed the door shut behind him and walked towards the bed, coming to an abrupt halt a mere foot or so from where I sat. He never said a word and simply stared, and I stared right back, wondering if he finally felt like talking. He didn't look as though he did. His usual jacket was nowhere to be seen, and he looked…different without it. Less threatening and somehow taller, in a weird way.

"Hey." I hesitantly tested the water between us.

Seto watched me for a few more seconds before turning and sitting down on the edge of the bed, right next to me. He never replied, but I took his action as the response that it was. I thought that I was getting rather good at reading his strange and unpredictable behaviors, and while I was still confused most of the time I found that I wasn't confused _all _of the time, which was a miracle in itself.

Ignoring the remnants of the dream that still clung to the back of my mind, I turned my vision to face him fully. He clearly hadn't been to sleep, wherever he had been, and his pale complexion had taken a grayish shade, his skin nearly transparent with wear and stress. I felt something just then, not sadness or sorrow but something very similar, for the way that he looked just then.

It must have been that unidentified feeling that lifted my hand from the bed, and before I knew what I was doing my fingers were lightly and hesitantly skimming over the surface of Seto's face. He turned to face me, but he didn't try to move away or make me stop, and I tentatively rested the palm of my hand over his cheek, wondering why I had done so. He looked so worn out, and I was…I supposed that I was worried. I didn't know if his brother knew that he had been out all night, but I assumed that he didn't because he never would have allowed it.

It was strange, the way that Seto operated. He could run any sort of business or indeed anything at all and make it the best of it's kind, crushing all competition and succeeding in anything he set out to complete. But when it came to things like sleeping and eating, he was incompetent.

"Seto…lie down." I let my hand fall from his face to his shoulder and I pushed him back gently, meeting to resistance from him, surprisingly. It wasn't too terribly often that he took orders, but I didn't mention it and instead fell backwards alongside him to the bed beneath. He lay silently and stared at the ceiling for a while, and then I remembered what it was that I needed to say.

"Why did you lock me in your room?" My voice was louder then before, and I watched his face as I spoke, hoping that it wasn't going to make him angry. It was hard to say what might.

"Because…" He paused mid-sentence and smiled knowingly at the ceiling. "This is where my things belong."

The very first thing that I felt was anger. I frowned at him and his smirk, and the expression on his face made me ever angrier than before. I wasn't a _thing_, something to keep somewhere. I had been scared, really and honestly scared, when I had discovered that he'd locked me in, and he didn't even care. He thought that it was funny, that he could just be that way and I wouldn't do a thing. I hadn't, not yet, but I meant to. I lost my fear completely, of only for a moment, and spoke my true mind.

"What is that supposed to mean?" my voice was quiet and firm, and I was surprised at the sound.

Seto lost his smile and instead settled for a blank and unfeeling stare. He didn't answer, and I continued, not sure what I meant to say but knowing that it needed to be said.

"Look. I don't _belong_ to you. I don't belong to anyone. So stop saying that I do, because it's not true."

I watched his face as I spoke and I saw his eyes change slightly when he understood what I was saying. The weariness and the silence in them dissipated and was swiftly replaced with a challenge and a question.

"No?" His voice was encircled with amusement, and although his empty stare never faded I could fell something slowly stirring underneath. The fear that I had banished returned, and I didn't respond.

I sat up instead and stood up from the bed, feeling suddenly awkward and out of place. What was _wrong_ with me? I _didn't _belong to him. So why did I feel as though I were the one who was mistaken?

"Where are you going?" The sound of his voice was strangely disturbing, and it reminded me of something, from days ago.

"I'm…I'm leaving." Was I? I hadn't the slightest idea of how to leave the house that I was in, but I would have to at least try.

I could feel something, there was an air of anticipation between the two of us that was startling in it's quickness, and I felt as though I might do something terrible, something regrettable, if I didn't leave right there and then. There were too many unchecked emotions and fears in my mind, and I knew from experience that my mind and my body didn't exactly see eye to eye when it came to situations involving Seto. I thought it best to leave before I knew that I couldn't.

Which was a futile thought to think, because I knew that it was already the case, deep down. I wasn't going anywhere. Still, I shakily walked across the room until I reached the door and then turned to look one last time in Seto's direction, which was a mistake, or meant to be, whichever one made more sense in the end. It didn't even matter.

Seto was standing next to the bed, but he was still and he watched me from where I stood, waiting to see if I would really leave. It made me stop, when I saw what he was doing, and it looked as though he didn't at all believe that I could do it. It was his doubt that fueled the hesitation in my mind, and I froze with my hand on the doorknob and wondered if he was right.

"Go on, then. Leave." Seto's voice carried well through the air between us, and there wasn't even the barest hint of sarcasm or anger. Rather, it was an order.

I made up my mind to turn the knob, to leave the room, to leave the house, but it never came. I couldn't. There was something treacherous and sick inside of me that just didn't want to. Who was really sick? Was it me, after all? Had it ever been Seto? I wanted to leave, but then, I really wanted to stay. Here with him.

I felt that perhaps I really was beginning to finally lose my mind. There were so many things that I wanted, I needed to do, but only one voice, one motivation rang out clearly in the end. It was the weaker part of me, the Joey that dreamt of Seto, the Joey that never fought back. The Joey that wanted Seto in the same way that Seto wanted him, and possibly even more. The Joey that Seto had seen in my eyes that day. It seemed so long ago, but it hadn't even been a week. Now everything was so different, and yet I knew that it wasn't true.

Everything was exactly the same, and I had finally opened my eyes and taken a good look. Why was this so hard?

"I'm waiting for you to leave. Or…have you finally noticed that you don't even want to?"

Seto knew. He knew what my problem was, and he had known. I hadn't realized just how well. It was strange, far too strange, for someone who had hated me up until just a few days ago. How did he know so much about me?

My hand was still and motionless over the metal of the doorknob, and I let it fall to my side, utterly defeated by my own self and the sickness inside. I remained silent, and waited for Seto to speak instead. I wanted…

I wanted to leave. I wanted to stay. I wanted to break away from everything inside of me that held me away from what I wanted. I wanted to fall down to my knees and scream at the pain, and scream for myself and for Seto, and for what I wanted. I wanted to never, ever dream about he and I again, and I wanted Seto to feel something for me besides a right to ownership.

I wanted to hate Seto, as I had always pretended, and I wanted it to be real. I wanted him to hate me as well, I wanted to play the game that we always played, and so then I could hate him even more when I faced the fact that, more than anything, I wanted…I wanted Seto Kaiba.

I did. I almost laughed at the thought. How obvious it was, must have looked, and really, really was.

* * *

Aiiiiii...poor Joey's having a rough time of it. Why is it so hard to see the things that are so obvious to everyone else? Has anyone ever noticed that? Sometimes people will say things about me, and I'll think about it and say, "oh, yeah. Duh. Of course I'm like that," or "Of course I feel that way, why didn't it ever occur to me? How obvious it must be, too." Is everyone in the world blind to themselves? And then sometimes, I will say to someone, "Look, at what you'redoing, don't you see it?" It seems so obvious. But it is so different, to be it, rather than to see yourself as you be it. I suppose that's what this story is really about.

It's about seeing the things that were always there.

Has that ever happened to you? If it has, i'd like to hear it. It's important, no matter how late you come to find out. Some people never do.


End file.
